


Komodo

by KC_95



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Assassination, Character Death, Dark, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Murder, Villian!Reader, assassin!reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2019-10-14 23:46:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17518121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KC_95/pseuds/KC_95
Summary: The plan was simple. A group of assassins would work together to kill every superhero at the same time. With the superheroes dead, the world would move on.When the plan fails, you take on a new mission: Infiltrate the remaining Avengers, make them trust you, kill them all. Everything will work out fine - as long as your growing feelings for a certain Captain don't get in your way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! Now, I know a lot of people are waiting for the follow up to 'Little Bird.' I am still writing it, however I"ve had this idea for a while and really wanted to get it out before Endgame arrives and discredits this entire story. 
> 
> Disclaimer: If you are looking for another light hearted, fun story like 'Little Bird', you will not find it here. In fact, I suggest you run very far in another direction. The reader in this fic is a villain/assasin. As such, there will be murder. PLEASE do not read it if you are not okay with this. 
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Murder/Assassination, general bad stuff

_Five minutes._

You looked up from your watch, glancing into the room from the doorway. Tony Stark stood behind the bar in his living room, on the phone to someone. You weren’t sure who Stark was talking to, but they must have been important. Listening to the conversation, it almost seemed as though he knew what was about to happen.

“Listen to me,” he spoke. “This is not a test or a drill, this is an order. You stay where you are, do not move. No matter what happens. Promise me.”

Stark stayed quiet while he listened to the reply, then continued. “I know, but I need you to promise me. Some major shit’s about to go down and I need you safe. I need you to trust me. Cap will come and get you when he’s ready.”

Silence.

“No, you can’t help, kid. Hell, _I_ can’t help. But it will be okay in the end. Just promise me you’ll stay where you are, no matter what happens.”

You heard Stark breathe a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I gotta go. Be safe, kid.”

_Four minutes._

Stark placed the phone down on the bar and looked up at you. “Hey there, Y/N.”

“Mr. Stark,” you greeted, entering the room. “I just need you to sign these forms so that-”

“Oh come on, I’m not doing that.” He pulled a bottle out from under the bar. “I’ve got, what, four minutes left to live? I’m not going to spend that time working. Want one?” he held up a glass.

“No,” you responded, your mind racing. He couldn’t actually…

“Yes, I know who you are, Komodo,” he poured the amber liquor into a glass and took a sip. “I’ve known for quite a while, actually.

Your eyes widened, heart rate increasing as you touched the ring on your middle finger, ready to activate it.

“Oh please, you don’t need that,” he smiled. “I’ll never understand you evil organisations and your insistence on killing yourselves the moment you get caught. Though I’ll admit, what you have is an upgrade to the old cyanide pill. I’d call it elegant, even, if it wasn’t so insane.”

“You know what this does?” you asked, holding up the ring.

Stark nodded his confirmation. “I know everything about you,” he mused, wandering out from behind the bar. “The komodo dragon really is a fascinating creature. It doesn’t just hunt and kill it’s prey like most predators. Instead it’s patient. It puts itself in its prey's path and waits for the perfect moment before it strikes. It takes its time. Pulls off the perfect kill before it’s prey suspects a thing. Which is exactly what you do, isn’t it? That’s why you came to work for me two years ago. You were already planning this.”

“How could you possibly know all of this?” You breathed, brushing your ring.

Stark shrugged. “I’m friends with a wizard,” he spoke simply, as if it explained everything.

“If you know I’m here to kill you, then why are you still here?”

Stark smiled. “Because you’re going to fail.”

“No, I’m not,” you responded.

_Three minutes._

“Oh no, not you. _You_ won’t fail. I’m a dead man walking - why do you think I’m drinking my most expensive bottle?” he held up the glass. “But ultimately, your organisation will. Cerberus, I believe you call it.”

“You're just gonna let me kill you?”

“Yep,” he grinned, far too cheerfully for someone who faced his assassin. “If this doesn’t happen, we all die. But right now, we can set into motion a series of events which will give us an advantage. Killing me is the first step you take towards saving us all.”

You took your finger away from your ring. If he wasn’t about to capture you, then you didn’t need it. “That’s a lie.”

Stark smiled. “If you say so. I think you’ll find your next target is a little harder for you to kill than I will be,” he took a sip of his drink. “Is it difficult to do your job? I imagine that senseless murder gets to some people. Are you a psychopath? Mentally unstable?”

“I have good reasons for doing what I do.” Your eyes fell to the tattoo on your left wrist. A small raven, serving as a reminder of why you were here. Of what you had to do.

“Yes, well, most people think that,” he took an object from the coffee table and held it out to you. “You’re going to need this.”

You hesitated for a moment, but curiosity got the better of you and you stepped forward to take the card. An Avengers ID. You stared at it. “Why the hell would you give me this?”

“Because I trust Doctor Strange. If the Avengers are to survive, then this is what has to happen.”

_Two minutes._

“No one survives after tonight,” you told him.

“Yeah, that’s your plan,” he waved his hand dismissively. “I already told you, it’s not going to work.”

“The execution has been carefully planned. This will work.”

“Execution,” Stark repeated. “That’s what you’re calling it? As if we’re criminals who have committed atrocities?”

“What would you call it, then?”

Stark shrugged. “Cold blooded slaughter, maybe?” He took another drink and cleared his throat. “Cap’s a good man. When you break his heart, try to be gentle. He doesn’t deserve to suffer.”

You shook your head. This man made no sense. This entire mission wasn’t making any sense anymore. It was meant to be simple. Get in, keep him busy for five minutes, then kill him. Not discuss what he believed would happen after his death. “Clearly, you don’t know me at all.”

“I know more about you than you think.” Stark tipped back the rest of his glass and placed it on the bar behind him. 

_One minute._

“So, how are we gonna do this?” Stark asked. “You gonna shoot me? Poison me? Slit my throat? Ooh, you could chop my head off. That would be dramatic.”

You sighed. Whatever Stark was playing at didn’t matter. You had a job to do, and you were going to do it. Tomorrow you would wake up and find confirmation that each member of Cerberus had succeeded. The heroes would be gone and there would be no more danger to the planet or its people. You could go on living your normal lives. No one would ever go through what you had to because of the Avengers.

You stepped forward and took Stark’s head in your hands.

Stark smirked. “I gotta say, I love a girl who knows how to make the first move.”

You rolled your eyes, watched the timer on your watch tick over to zero, and twisted.


	2. Chapter 2

269 dead superheroes. In a single moment, the entire world had changed. No one quite knew what to do. The regular TV schedule had been interrupted so that people could discuss the events on various news programs and talk shows. Intelligence agencies were running around aimlessly, attempting to find an explanation. The police were overrun with phone calls, questions, and the occasional riot. Cerberus had expected all of this; people would freak out before settling into the new world order. But that was okay - once they settled, they would see this change for the gift it was. A chance to start over - without superheroes.

What you didn’t expect, however, was the viral video of Captain America two hours after the execution. He stood on a platform in the media room of the Avengers Compound next to Black Widow, Hawkeye and the Winter Soldier. He stated that as far as they knew, they were the only superheroes still alive. That they hoped they would find more, but wouldn’t rely on it. He proclaimed that the Avengers would uncover the truth of what had happened, but in the meantime, they would continue working as usual. He said there was no way the heroes would leave the world defenceless, no matter what.

Many people calmed down after that. Cerberus, however, did not. Captain America and the three heroes with him were all meant to be dead.  
You hadn’t been called in at first. The Master decided that he would send some lower level assassins to finish the job. That had been a week ago, and the heroes weren’t any closer to being dead. So now you sat in a dark meeting room, surrounded by people you didn’t particularly like, because some idiots couldn’t do their jobs properly.  


As you waited for the Master to arrive, you listened to the Viper tell the story of how he killed the Vision and the Scarlet Witch for the fifteenth time. He was very proud. It made you feel sick.

”What about you?” He asked you suddenly. “We haven’t seen you for years. Kill anyone good?”

“I don’t really think it matters, Viper,” you responded.

He sniffed. “Of course it mattters! The whole point of this is to kill the heroes-"

“Yes, and we failed. That’s why we’re here.”

“I didn't fail,” He responded. “I killed all of my targets, thank you very much.”

”So you keep saying,” you muttered under your breath.

”We got all but four. The rest shouldn't be hard to finish off.”

”I'm not so sure about that, Viper,” silence fell over the room as the Master ended, taking his seat at the head of the table before he continued. “I've been investigating where we went wrong, and as it turns out, we didn't. They were just better than us.”

“Better?” Viper questioned.

“Black Widow and Hawkeye were once assassins,” the Master explained. “It seems that they knew they were being targeted. Both of them killed their assassins five minutes before the execution. Lucky for us, neither of them discussed it. Otherwise, they might have been better prepared for us. The Winter Soldier may have been brainwashed at the time, but he was also one of the best assassins the world has ever seen, and has been living with a slight paranoia ever since his brain was fixed. It didn't take him long to identify his assassin and take her out. The first thing Barnes did once he succeeded was check on Cap. Winter Soldier but a bullet in Cap’s assassin before Cap even knew he was there.”

“And the follow up assassins?”

“All hit their kill switches. The Avengers are prepared for us now. We need a different approach. That's why you’re here.” He indicated you and Viper.

“I can take ‘em down," Viper spoke. "Easy.”

“I don't mean any disrespect, Viper, but they know we're after them. How do you expect they will react to a stranger showing up on their doorstep?” You asked.

“You got any other ideas?”

“You send me to pay them a visit,” you replied. ”I may not make it into their little gang, but I can guarantee that I'll at least get through the front door.”

“How can you guarantee that?” Viper asked.

You held up your ID. “I have a key.”

Viper frowned, leaning in to get a better look. “You're an Avenger in training? How the hell did you get that?”

“Tony Stark gave it to me,” you responded simply. “Like I said, they’re not going to trust me. They won't trust anyone. But they will hear me out, at least.”

There was a moments silence in the room as the members of Cerberus considered this. 

“The Komodo Dragon, though?” Viper asked. “If we send her it could be ten years before we see any results. Do we really want to wait that long?”

There was a murmur of agreement around the table.

“My methods take time, I’ll be the first to admit. And if you want to choose a faster route, I will accept that. But I can guarantee that I’ll get results, eventually, which is more than we can say for everyone else who’s gone after them so far.”

”How long do we have before another infinity war?” Viper asked. “Forget New York and Sokovia, these people are at a point where they're endangering the entire planet. This world is in danger as long as they’re alive. And the person we’re considering sending won’t even tell us where she’s been for the last two years. Or who she’s killed."

You sighed. “Two years ago, I took a job at Stark Industries. I spent that time working my way up the corporate ladder to become Stark’s personal assistant. Along the way, I got the chance to take out the Falcon and the Hulk. I took both opportunities. I'm sure you recall the reports of their ‘accidental’ deaths. My target during the execution was Tony Stark himself.”

The room fell quiet as they considered your words.

"You mean to tell me that you managed to kill the Hulk and the Falcon while making it look like an accident, and then kill Iron Man?" Viper asked.

"Working at Stark Industries put me in a good position," you replied. "And being there for two years meant that Stark trusted me, so..."

"This does seem to be our best option," the Master spoke. “Does anyone wish to dispute sending the Komodo Dragon on a mission to infiltrate the remaining Avengers?”

“Yes,” replied Viper “I still think I’m the better choice. What do you expect I will do while she spends the next hundred years slowly working her way through the Avengers?”

“The Avengers weren’t the only heroes to escape the execution,” the Master replied. “Spider-Man and Doctor Strange have been missing since last week. We are working on tracking them. If we find them we will need to send someone after them. If the Komodo Dragon is working with the Avengers, then that leaves you, Viper.”

Viper sat back in his chair. “Fine then. I stay here, you go play house with the superheroes.”

“I’ll leave immediately,” you announced, slipping your ID card back into your pocket. “But before I do…”

The Master raised his eyebrows. “You need something?”

“I could use a few bodies.”


	3. Chapter 3

You strolled with confidence towards the front door of the Avenger’s Compound, a body bag slung over your shoulder. With a flick of your ID, the doors opened for you and you were allowed into the Avengers headquarters.

As you entered, you found yourself face to face with the few remaining Avengers as they gathered in the entrance hall, staring at you.

“What the hell?” Hawkeye asked. You quickly looked him over. Clint Barton. Deadly with long distance weapons - best keep to close combat only. And he seemed… pissed off.

You finished your analysis of your target quickly before dumping the bodybag on the floor. “What the hell is this?” you asked the group.

“Who the hell are you?” Barton retorted.

You glanced down to the ground, where Black Widow had dropped to one knee and carefully began unzipping the bag. Natasha Romanoff - a Russian assassin turned U.S. spy. Trained in all forms of combat known to man. She seemed strangely calm, considering most of her friends had just been killed.

“Cerberus,” Romanoff murmured.

Oh, so they knew the name? Well _that_ was interesting.

“I’ve got five more of those,” you told them. “The bastards have been trying to kill me all week. Every time I manage to capture them, they just drop dead moments later. So again I ask, what the hell is this?”

“And again I ask, who the hell are you?” Barton repeated.

You sighed and held out your ID. Romanoff took it. “She’s one of Tony’s,” she spoke before moving to a screen and beginning to tap on a few icons.

“Tony’s?” The Winter Soldier asked. James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, the assassin of legend. A man many had believed to be a myth before he teamed up with the Avengers. In the war he was the guy who did Captain America’s dirty work, meaning he was deadly _before_ he’d been brainwashed and trained as an assassin. Now he was capable of things that even you couldn’t imagine. You tried to gauge his emotional state, but you couldn’t. The man was impossible to read. 

“Tony was mentoring young heroes. People he thought could be future Avengers material,” Captain America spoke. As you finally allowed your eyes to rest on Steve Rogers, you were forced to do a quick double take. You had prepared yourself for America’s golden boy - the ‘perfect’ man in the American flag. This man, though, was nothing like the Captain America you knew. Instead of a bright uniform displaying America’s red and white stripes, he wore a dark navy suit. He was starting to form the beginnings of a beard, indicating that he hadn’t shaved since the execution. He seemed dark, brooding, broken. The only sign that this man was once Captain America was the shield he wore on his back and the single star on his chest.

Good. If the Captain was broken, that would make him easier to manipulate. He would be your way onto this team.

“She checks out,” Romanov spoke. She passed you your I.D. before she stepped back and folded her arms. “She’s been working at Stark Industries for the last two years. She’s been his P.A. for the last year. He entered her into the program eight months ago.”

You had to hide your surprise at that. If Stark entered you into the program that long ago… Exactly how long had he known about the execution?

“We still can’t trust her,” Barnes spoke, drawing you from your thoughts.

“We can’t trust anyone,” Rogers replied.

“I don’t want your trust,” you told them. “I want this shit sorted out so that I can go back to job hunting.” You gestured to the body. “Who is that, why was he trying to kill me, and what the hell can I do to stop it? I didn’t even want to be in the hero game. I only entered this program because Tony told me I could come to him in times of trouble. Well, this looks like trouble to me, and where the hell is he? Dead. So now I have no job, no backup and a bunch of idiots trying to kill me.”

“How did you survive?” Barnes asked.

"Excuse me?" You asked.

“This organisation, Cerberus,” Barton spoke, “They orchestrated a combined attack. Took out every remaining superhero at once. As far as we know, we are the only ones who survived. These people have killed a lot of heroes, some of the best. So what makes you any different?”

“I fight dirty,” you replied.

“These guys are professionals,” Romanov told you. “No way you survived just by fighting dirty.”

“Then how did you survive?” you responded.

“I’m a trained assassin,” Romanov stepped forward. “Are you?”

You looked between the four of them, all staring at you silently. “You think I’m here to kill you.”

Rogers stood taller and stepped towards you, his hands resting on his belt. “Last week, the life of every single superhero was taken, except for ours, because apparently some cult called Cerberus decided that the world was safer without us in it. And from what we can tell, this isn’t new. When we looked into it, we found evidence of assassinations as far as four years back, we just didn’t realise they were connected. These guys have taken out some of the most powerful heroes we’ve worked with. Since then, we’ve had an influx of assassins trying to get to us as well. You have six bodies? Well, we’ve got twenty-seven. So yeah, until you prove otherwise, we’ll have to assume that you’re here to murder us.”

You shrugged. “Fine. I don’t need you to trust me. I just need this done so that I can get back to my life.”

Rogers folded his arms and turned back to look at his team mates. “What do you think?”

“I think she’ll kill us all in our sleep if we let her,” Romanov spoke. 

“It is about time Cerberus tried a new tactic,” Barton agreed. “How do we know she hasn’t been working for Tony just to get close to the Avengers?”

“We don’t,” Barnes replied. “But that doesn’t matter because Steve’s going to take her in anyway.”

You raised your eyebrows at that and looked back to Rogers, who was still eyeing his team. “If she’s telling the truth, then she needs our help.”

“If she’s lying, we all die,” Romanov countered.

“I’d rather die than throw someone who needs my help out on the street,” Rogers replied softly.

Well that was unexpected. You had heard of Captain America’s righteousness and honour, of course, but you always believed that certain traits had been exaggerated after he ‘died’ to make him seem more heroic. Was there a chance you had been wrong about that? It seemed unlikely.

“That attitude could well get you killed in this situation, Cap,” Barton told him.

“We knew this time would come eventually,” Rogers responded. “So we have to decide. Are we survivors, or heroes?”

The Avengers fell into silence, glancing between each other. 

Finally, Romanov spoke. “Fine, she stays here.” She looked over to you. “But you will be locked in your room every night while we sleep. We’ll give you an alarm so that if an assassin breaks into your room while you’re locked in there you can alert us. And I want fingerprints, DNA and a blood sample.”

“And the rest of the bodies,” Barton added.

“Okay,” you agreed. “Shall I go get them now?”

Rogers nodded. “Go get them and then we’ll see exactly how you fought off those assassins.”

You nodded and turned to leave. On the way to collect the rest of your bodies, you sent a quick text to the master from a burner phone, which you would destroy immediately after.

_I’m in._


	4. Chapter 4

You entered the Avenger’s gym an hour after you returned to the compound. The seventeen listening devices and other bugs you had found while searching your new bedroom were gathered in your arms. You strolled across the room to dump the collection on a bench in front of Romanoff.

She raised her eyebrows at you. 

“If you’re not going to trust me, then you’re going to have to accept that I’m not going to trust you either,” you told her.

You swore you could see Rogers smiling out of the corner of your eye.

Romanoff glanced at your pile, then looked back at you. “The way you move makes it pretty clear to me that you’ve been trained. So who trained you and why?”

You considered the question. Telling them the truth would give them more reason to distrust you, but at the same time it did give a bit more credibility to the idea that you’d survived an assassination. Plus, the Avengers were not the sort of people you could lie to often. Telling them the truth as much as possible would make it easier to slide in a small lie here and there when you needed to. 

“HYDRA,” you responded.

“Excuse me?” Rogers responded.

“My parents were HYDRA,” you explained. “They started training me to kill the day I was born. I was one of the best assassins HYDRA had ever seen. They called me ‘the next Winter Soldier’.” 

Barnes and Rogers looked at each other.

“So you are a trained assassin,” Romanoff concluded.

You nodded. “They even tried injecting me with knock-off super-serum at one point. The stuff was rubbish, didn’t do a thing. Once I was old enough to understand exactly what HYDRA was, I got the hell out of there. Spent the next three years on the run before I met Mr. Stark. He gave me a job, helped me bury my past, and here I am.”

“Well then,” Rogers spoke. “Let’s see what you can do. Clint, you’re up.”

Barton nodded and stepped onto a large training mat in the centre of the room. You quickly stepped out of your shoes before doing the same, moving to face the man. 

“You fight until one of you yields or I call time,” Rogers instructed. “No weapons. You ready?”

“Let’s do this,” you responded.

“Go.”

The moment Rogers had spoken the word, you ducked out of the way, making sure to keep out of range of Barton’s attacks just enough so that you could observe his movements. You instantly realised that Cerberus had been wrong about Hawkeye. He was just as deadly in close combat as he was with a long range weapon. That information would be going straight back to the Master when you got the chance. If you failed this mission, the next assassin needed to know exactly what this man could do.

You ducked a punch and twisted, kicking towards his side. As you expected, he blocked the kick, and you immediately timed your next punch to hit while he was focused on your leg. He recovered immediately, landing a blow to your side.

This went on for a while, until the two of you were dripping with sweat, breathing heavily and bruises were starting to form on your skin. You ignored all of that, focused only on taking Barton down.

You finally got your chance when you took you to the ground, pinning you down. “Yield,” he panted.

“Not likely,” you responded, pressing your gun under his chin. “I finally got you where I want you.”

He stared. “Steve said no weapons.”

“And I said I fight dirty,” you responded.

“Time,” Rogers called. 

“What?” Barton turned around to look at Rogers. “But she-”

Rogers looked between the two of you, eyes glinting with amusement. “It’s not like she didn’t warn us.”

Barton grumbled and stood up, allowing you to do the same. You re-holstered your gun and turned to the group who had been watching. “So do I pass your test? Am I capable of taking down those assassins?”

“If you can get Clint, you can get an assassin,” Romanov muttered.

“She did not ‘get’ me,” Barton grumbled.

“Yeah, she did,” Barnes replied. “You think Cerberus wouldn’t pull that shit on you? Face it, she won this round.”

You hummed. “As a side note, there were at least four times I could have nailed you in the groin. Consider it a gesture of good faith that I didn’t. If I see that opportunity again, I _will_ take it.”

Romanoff snorted.

“Don’t you start,” Barton told her. “Aren’t you going to go run a bunch of tests to make sure she really is who she says?”

“I certainly am.”

“Buck, Clint, start cataloguing those new bodies. You,” he pointed at you, “Are coming with us to the lab. Let’s go.”

You nodded and followed the two of them through corridors to arrive in the lab. Rogers watched with his arms folded as Romanoff took a DNA sample and your fingerprints and began running the information through a computer system before she began to take some blood.

“You mentioned you quit the hero game,” Rogers spoke.

You nodded. “Long story.”

“I’d like to hear it,” he replied.

You sighed. It was time to test out your lying skills on these two. “A few months after I got out of HYDRA I started seeing some things, and… I stepped in every now and again. I never wanted to be a hero, just thought I could maybe make up for some of the wrong that I’ve done. Then I met a man who was really into the whole hero thing. It was the first time I’d ever really spent any time with anyone outside of HYDRA, and I guess out of naivety I fell for him. You know what it’s like to be young, dumb and in love? I followed that man to the ends of the Earth before I realised that he was more interested in fame and glory than helping people. He was using my skills to further his career instead of actually trying to make a difference in the world, so I dumped his ass and turned away from the hero thing. That was just before I got the job at Stark Industries. Tony noticed my tendency to discreetly help people and convinced me to join his mentoring program.”

Nat pulled the needle out of your arm and moved your blood to another scanner before returning to the first. “No criminal record. Actually, no record at all.” She raised her eyebrows at you.

“What did you expect?” you asked her. “I was HYDRA. Officially, I don’t exist.”

“The only record of your existence is a single hospital visit years after you say you left HYDRA?”

“From what I understand, yes.”

“Why can’t I access your medical records?”

“Well, there’s this thing called privacy, which means that legally you aren’t allowed to go through those particular files.”

The corner of Rogers’ lip twitched.

“Our systems should override that,” she muttered.

“Any encryption you can break through, HYDRA can break through, so I’m rather careful with those records. I had Mr. Stark make sure they couldn’t be accessed without my consent. Suffice to stay that I was in hospital and now I’m not. I’m much more concerned with the present than the past.”

“So you have secrets,” Romanoff concluded.

You shrugged. “Don’t we all?”

* * *

Steve watched as the woman left the room, then turned to Natasha. He frowned at her expression - she looked at him as though he’d completely lost his mind.

“You need to keep that under control,” she told him.

“What?”

“Your little crush.”

Steve blinked. He didn’t have a crush. Did he?

“We can’t trust anyone, remember? If you get too close to her there’s a fair chance you’ll end up dead.”

“Where is this coming from?” he asked, stunned.

Nat rolled her eyes. “I see the way you look at her, Steve. And you’re vulnerable right now.”

“I just met her,” he defended.

“Oh, so are you going to try and tell me that you don’t have a thing for headstrong women who’s wit is nearly as dangerous as their right hook?”

He frowned. Now that she pointed it out, that did sound like everyone he’d ever dated. Not that he had a long list of exes, but he had to concede that Natasha may have a point.

“Look, Steve, you always see the best in people. I admire that, I really do, but we’re dealing with assassins now. They will manipulate their way into your heart if you let them. This is something the rest of us will see that you never will, so let me explain it to you. Let’s say I’m that woman. My mission is to kill the people in this building. I walk in, it would take me five minutes at the most to see that you’re suffering from the loss of your team. It makes you emotionally vulnerable, so I’m going to target that. I spend the next few weeks making you trust me. Eventually, I’ll make you fall in love with me. That’s easy to do with someone who’s emotionally vulnerable - there’s a giant hole in your heart which you are desperate to fill, even if you don’t realise it right now. So you fill it with me, and the moment we’re alone I stab you in the back. Literally.”

Steve frowned, considering Natasha’s words. “You wouldn’t do that.”

“The person I used to be would have. If she is Cerberus, then that’s exactly what she’ll do.”

Steve gulped. She seemed to have a tough exterior, sure, but anyone who had been raised by HYDRA would. And there was no way she lied about that - her fighting style had ‘HYDRA training’ written all over it. She couldn’t be that bad, could she? Was there really a chance that she would get close to him just to kill him?

Steve sighed. Cerberus would stop at nothing to get what they wanted. It wasn’t completely unreasonable to think that someone would come along and try to befriend them just to get close enough to pull off their mission.

Natasha seemed to sense that Steve had accepted her warning. She placed a hand on his shoulder, “I don’t like this situation any more than you, Steve. Had she come along six months ago I’d be pushing you into her arms, but now?” she smiled sadly, “You can’t let this be any more than a crush, okay? Be careful with your heart. Otherwise you’ll wind up dead.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Wake up,” Romanoff’s harsh voice interrupted your sleep. “We’ve got a mission.”

“We?” You questioned. You had assumed that if the Avengers went out on a mission, you would be left in the Compound so that you couldn’t do something to sabotage it.

“Steve says that if he leaves you behind and you get killed while we’re gone, he’ll never forgive himself.”

You frowned. You had spent two days living with the Avengers so far, and every time you thought Rogers would do something to prove that Captain America’s moral strength had been exaggerated, he proved you wrong. The textbooks hadn’t lied at all - the man they described actually _was_ him. It was infuriating

“You got a suit?” Romanoff asked.

“No,” you got out of bed and started collecting your weapons while Romanoff disappeared. She returned a moment later and tossed a suit at you.

“Standard issue S.H.I.E.L.D.,” she told you. “Usually we’d get you something a bit more customised to your movement patterns, but…”

You nodded your understanding. Tony had been the man who designed the suits. And considering Tony had recently been murdered…

“Get changed and meet us in the hangar A.S.A.P.”

You changed as quickly as possible before you met Barton in the hangar. “In here,” he told you, leading you to one of the smaller jets.

The other three Avengers looked up when you boarded. You couldn’t help but smirk when you noticed the way Rogers’ eyes were tracing over your body - you were perfectly aware the suit you wore was designed to be form-fitting, resulting in a much more revealing outfit than you usually wore in front of the Avengers. You had suspected the man had a thing for you, but the way he looked at you in that moment just about confirmed it. You caught his eye and winked.

Rogers blushed and quickly looked towards his feet until Romanoff pinched him hard in the arm. 

“Ow,” Rogers protested.

Romanoff just raised her eyebrows at him, fixing him with a stare.

Rogers grumbled something under his breath, then turned to Barton. “Get us in the air.”

Barton nodded and positioned himself in the pilot’s seat while Rogers moved to stand next to you. “Sorry about the early wake up call.”

“It’s fine,” you glanced around the jet before continuing. “I thought missions would be off while you were dealing with Cerberus. Or at least minimised.”

Rogers shrugged. “Crime in this country has increased 400% since Cerberus started their killing spree. People are concerned.”

“So you’re putting their minds at ease.”

“Our job is to protect innocent citizens. That didn’t change when everyone died - as long as we are alive, we will be doing our best to ensure everyone’s safety. It’s about time we proved that to the public.”

God, he really was righteous, wasn’t he?

“So what are we dealing with?” you asked as the jet took off.

“A branch of HYDRA have taken a bunch of people hostage in a bank. Apparently it’s how they intend to get funding for their next project.” He passed you a small tablet, showing footage from the bank’s security cameras. “Anyone you recognise?”

You watched the screen for a moment, taking in the faces of the group. You raised your eyebrows. Oh, that was perfect. You couldn’t have planned it better if you tried. “See these two?” you asked him, pointing to the screen.

Rogers nodded.

“They’re my parents,” you passed the tablet back. “I don’t know any of the others.”

“They’re your parents?” Romanoff repeated, eyes wide. 

You nodded with a smile. She probably thought the whole HYDRA story was a lie. If you could prove it was true, perhaps they would buy everything else you’d told them.

“Will you be okay with this?” Rogers asked. “Fighting your parents?”

“Those two people taught me to kill without hesitation,” you replied. “As far as I’m concerned if I turn those skills against them it’s just karma in action.”

“They’re still your family,” he murmured softly.

“I don’t have a family,” you responded.

He kept his eyes on you for a moment before he shifted his stance and continued, “I know you’re a trained killer, but that’s not how we do things. Killing is the absolute last option - you only do it if an innocent’s life is in danger and you have no other option.”

You nodded. “This isn’t my first hero gig, Captain.”

“It’s your first Avengers gig,” he told you. “I need to know we’re on the same page.”

“You can relax,” you patted his shoulder casually, noticing his muscles suddenly tense where you touched him. “I promise I won’t kill anyone.”

You dropped your hand with a smile. 

“We’re here,” Barton announced after the jet set down. He left the pilot’s seat to join the rest of his team.

Rogers nodded and retrieved the shield from his back. “This should be straightforward. We get in, free the hostages, get out. No funny stuff. Let’s get this done and get back to the Compound before Cerberus has a chance to interrupt.”

“Remember when Steve’s speeches were all majestic and inspirational?” Barton asked, grabbing his bow.

“No,” Barnes smirked.

“Jerk,” Rogers muttered.

“Punk,” Barnes shot back.

“You lot gonna keep bickering or are we gonna go save these hostages?” Romanoff asked.

“Right,” Rogers smiled, “Let’s go.”

You stood stunned for a moment, trying to make sense of the banter you had just witnessed. You’d been on teams before, of course - HYDRA, Cerberus - but it had never been like that. It was almost as though they were… friends. You had never seen that before.

“You alright?” Rogers had turned back to glance at you.

“Let’s do this,” you told him, drawing a gun as you left the jet.

The group of you approached the bank with confidence. The crowd around the building watched with wide eyes - a few got out their phones and started taking pictures or videos. Rogers placed his hand on a policeman’s shoulder and squeezed as he passed. The man nodded and called back his forces, allowing the Avengers to take control of the crime scene.

The cool breeze of air conditioning hit as you entered the bank, the five of you taking in the group of hostages on the floor and the small group of ex-HYDRA agents conversing softly over them.

Everyone froze when you entered, turning to stare at you. Your parents’ eyes widened when they noticed you standing alongside the Avengers.

“Mother,” you greeted coolly, “Father.”

“You…” your mother breathed.

“How about we do this the easy way,” you began, “You can let these people go, your little gang can disband because I know you lot are up to no good, and then we can have a nice family dinner. Apparently that’s enjoyable, for some people. We could even try sending each other birthday cards.”

“You defected,” your father accused.

“Wait, so… you actually are her parents?” Barton asked.

“Of course,” your mother responded. “We were going to make her something magnificent. HYDRA’s greatest weapon. And she ran away.”

“Like a coward,” your father spat.

“Are you kidding me?” You stared at him. “Leaving HYDRA was the bravest thing I ever did.”

“Huh. What do you know?” Barton looked to Romanoff.

She shrugged.

“We’re wasting time,” Rogers stated. “Your daughter has a point. You can walk away from this. All of you.”

“So you’re with them now? Really?” your father asked you.

“It seemed a good use of my skill set,” you shrugged. 

“Could you really kill us?” your mother asked. “Your own parents.”

“Right now, you’re not my parents,” you told them. “You’re my targets. And as you always told me, it doesn’t matter who my target is. My job is to take them out, no matter what. So, you gonna come peacefully? Birthday cards are still on the table.”

You noticed the movement out of the corner of your eye and acted completely on instinct, shoving Rogers out of the way just as the bullet flew past where his head was. He stared, wide eyed, for only a brief moment before turning towards the group and leaping into action. The Avengers moved fast after that. This wasn’t a discussion anymore, it was a fight. 

You joined them quickly, your mind slipping into battle mode. You made sure not to do any permanent damage, just enough to incapacitate the enemy. You shot a couple of them in the knees, stabbed one in the thigh, and used a couple of knockout hand to hand moves. Within moments, the criminals were unconscious on the ground. 

While Romanoff left to inform the police that it was safe to enter, you watched Barton and Rogers enter the group of hostages to make sure that no one had been harmed. Barton took it upon himself to chat quietly to some of the more worried citizens. Rogers knelt down next to a frightened child and passed over the shield. The kid’s grin warmed your heart.

Your fingers brushed the tattoo on your wrist. You weren’t wrong about them. You couldn’t be. If you were wrong, then that tattoo would have no reason for existing.

You looked up quickly when you sensed someone approaching. Barnes. He stood next to you, watching over the group. “Not really a people person, are you?” he asked.

“No,” you replied. “Being raised by HYDRA doesn’t exactly lend itself to social situations.”

He chuckled softly. “No, I guess it wouldn’t.”

“You’re not a people person either, I suppose?”

Barnes shrugged. “I was, before HYDRA got hold of my brain. Now I find it’s best to keep my distance. The kids like me well enough, but most of the adults are terrified. I figure I should avoid causing any unnecessary panic.”

The two of you watched silently as the other Avengers dealt with the public, before Barnes finally murmured, “Thank you.”

“What for?” you asked.

“You saved Steve’s life back there,” he glanced over you. “You could have easily let him die.”

You nodded your understanding. “If I was Cerberus.”

“If you were Cerberus,” Barnes agreed. “We don’t have a lot of friends left. It’s good to find another.”

He nodded at you before he left, leaving you alone to watch Rogers pose for a picture with the kid, who still held his shield.

Barnes was right. You could have easily let Rogers die. In fact, that would have been the smart thing to do. The bullet would have landed in his skull, none of the Avengers would have been suspicious at all. It was a hazard of the job. He would have died naturally, it would have been one less problem for Cerberus to deal with. 

Your fingers brushed against your tattoo. You should have just let him die.

So why didn’t you?  



	6. Chapter 6

It was because you needed the Avengers to trust you. What better way to do that then prove yourself to be a valuable member of their team?

That was what you told yourself for the next six months, every time you questioned the act of saving Steve’s life. When you thought about it, it made a lot of sense; get Steve to trust you, then you could start sabotaging missions. When Steve lost the rest of his team, he would come running straight to you. That last kill would be simple. Steve probably wouldn’t even put up a fight.

Funnily enough, you had heard Steve ask Romanoff about the incident ( _why would she save me if she is trying to kill us? _) and Romanoff had given the same explanation you had given yourself. The woman still watched you constantly, refusing to believe that you had no intention of murder.__

____

__

Barton had never been friendly, exactly, but he was cordial. He was willing to help if you needed assistance with something like the high tech training facilities or top of the range cooking equipment. He had been very impressed at your ability to use the Compound’s coffee machine until you pointed out that you were once Tony Stark’s personal assistant, and brewing the perfect cup was a pre-requisite for the job. Clint had wanted you to make all the coffee after that, until Romanoff reminded him that none of them were allowed to ingest anything prepared by you. 

Barnes kept his distance, for the most part. You hadn’t spoken since the first mission, but there was a quiet understanding between you. However, he did watch closely whenever you were with Steve. Which, as it turned out, was quite often.

Steve was your closest friend in the Compound. It had started out because you thought seducing him was the best path to success. As it turned out, getting him to like you wasn’t hard at all. You just had to be yourself and, well, he liked you. 

Unfortunately, he was also a gentlemen. He kept his distance from you, both physically and emotionally. Every time you thought maybe you had him, Romanoff would pull him back to reality. If she would just give you the opportunity to take her out, you were sure that Rogers would be running into your arms.

You could feel his eyes on you now, gazing at you from across the room while the other three Avengers argued over what movie to watch. 

It had been Romanoff’s idea. All of you had been working hard lately, completing mission after mission in an attempt to stomp out the rising crime rates, and it was finally succeeding. So to celebrate, Romanoff suggested that you do something normal. Something fun. Something to relax.

Judging by three of Earth’s four mightiest heroes bickering like children over the extensive film catalogue available to the compound, movie night wasn’t nearly as relaxing as Romanoff had made it sound.

Steve sighed, “Is this really our lives now?”

The room quietened as everyone turned to look at him.

“All of our friends were murdered, and we’re just going to sit here and watch movies?”

“Would you prefer us to sit around and mope, Steve?” Romanoff asked softly. “There’s nothing we can do to bring them back.”

“We could use the time stone—“

“Who would wield it?” Barton asked. “Doctor Strange is dead. The Sanctum is gone. Even Kamar-Taj was destroyed. Nat’s right. We can’t just stop living. Team bonding is important, remember?”

So the team definitely thought Doctor Strange was dead, then. And likely Spider-Man as well. You frowned - you had hoped that you would be able to discover a location for the two missing heroes, but it seemed the Avengers didn’t know any more than you did.

“I just…” Steve shook his head. “I can’t sit here and do nothing.” He stood and left the room quickly, leaving the other Avengers to send each other questioning glances.

“I’ll go talk to him,” you announced, rising from your seat.

Romanoff opened her mouth to argue, but Barnes stopped her. He started speaking to her, but you were already too far away to hear what was said. 

You found Steve in the meeting room, staring at a screen displaying the faces of the deceased Avengers. A small object was clenched in his fist.

“They do have a point, you know,” you told him.

Steve turned to raise his eyebrows at you.

“I mean about the whole ‘taking a break and having some fun’ thing. You keep going like this you’ll burn out fast.”

“I can’t do that. It’s…”

“You think it’s wrong to take a break? As long as we’re together, Steve, then no-one’s going to die. That’s what this whole living arrangement is about, right? Strength in numbers?”

“I can’t stop moving,” he admitted. “Whenever I stop, it all comes crashing down and I can’t…”

“It’s not your fault, Steve,” you moved to stand next to him.

“Doesn’t it seem unfair to you that we made it out and they didn’t?”

“Sometimes,” you spoke carefully. “But that doesn’t mean they would blame you for surviving. You shouldn’t either.”

“You didn’t know them,” he argued.

“I knew Tony,” you replied. “Very well, actually. He was the best boss I ever had.”

“Didn’t you work for HYDRA before Tony?” he smiled slightly. 

“So there wasn’t a lot of competition,” you shrugged with a grin. “He was good to me. And I have endured many hours of his complaining about how Captain America wants to carry the entire world on his ginormous, perfect shoulders. Also, he seemed to be very annoyed by your teeth.”

Steve chuckled. After a moment of silence, he held out his hand. “Tony gave me this, you know.”

You smiled down at the watch he showed you. “I remember,” you took it from his hand and flipped it over, revealing the engraving on the back. ‘ _Happy 100th, Grandpa._ ’

“You do?” Steve questioned.

You nodded. “Tony spent three hours agonising over what font to use,” you passed the watch back to Steve. “I had to kick him out of the engraver’s shop to let the poor man work in peace.”

“Really?”

“I swear to you,” you grinned. “I know you two argued a lot, but he really did respect you.”

“The feeling was mutual,” Steve told you.

“And I guarantee you if he was here right now he would be talking my ear off about how you refuse to relax and accept the fact that right now, there’s nothing you can do.”

“He would,” Steve agreed, running his thumb along the face of the watch. “It’s just… these people were my family. I know you don’t really understand that, but…”

“No, I get it. I get what family’s supposed to be, anyway,” you mindlessly brushed your fingers against your tattoo as you spoke.

Steve looked at you. “Did you ever hear back from your parents?”

True to your word, you actually had sent your parents birthday cards when you learned what prison they were being kept in. You weren’t sure what you thought you were going to get out of it, but Steve seemed to think it was a good idea at the time. Then again, Steve seemed to think that parading around in a costume and ‘saving the world’ was a good idea, too.

“No,” you replied. “Not that I expected to, of course.”

“I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I think they’re idiots.”

You shrugged. “I don’t know why I bothered anyway. They weren’t exactly model parents.”

“They’re still your parents,” Steve spoke. “You know, many heroes find an extended family when they become an Avenger.”

You let out a dry laugh. “You really think I’ll find that here? You’re all constantly on edge around me because I might be here to kill you.”

Steve raised his eyebrows.

“Come on, you think I haven’t noticed? Honestly I’m surprised Natasha hasn’t barged in here to make sure you’re still alive yet.”

“It’s not you. We have to be careful - none of us know how many more losses we can take, so we look out for each other. Maybe one day we’ll be looking out for you as well. You know, providing you don’t murder us all.”

“And if I do?” You asked.

Steve shrugged. “I suspect I’ll be too dead to retaliate.” 

You smiled slightly, looking down at the tattoo on your wrist. If only Steve would hurry up and fall for you so that you could make that day come sooner.

Steve reached out, gently catching your wrist in his hand. “What’s this?” he asked, fingers brushing over your tattoo.

“It’s a tattoo, Steve,” you told him with a smile.

“I know that,” he responded with a laugh. “I mean, what’s it for? I’ve been told that some tattoos have meanings.”

You chose your words carefully, making sure to answer in a way that wouldn’t arouse any suspicion from him. “It’s a reminder. It helps me remember why I fight. Why I continue to do what it is I do,” you shrugged.

“Why a bird?”

“It’s a raven,” you explained carefully. “A symbol of death. Or change or transformation.”

“You lost someone,” he concluded.

You nodded.

“I don’t mean to sound insensitive,” he spoke carefully. “But you were HYDRA and then you were here. Who would you have to lose?”

You sighed. Even if you wanted to, answering that question would definitely be giving away too much information. “Come on. We’d better get back so the others know I haven’t murdered you.”

Steve frowned, but followed you back to the recreation room, where the other Avengers whispered quietly among themselves.

Their heads snapped up as the two of you entered.

“I, uh,” Steve began before he sighed. “I just miss them,” he admitted. “And I miss them more when I stop doing things. I guess I just wish there was something we could do.”

“We will do something, Steve,” Romanoff assured him. “When the time is right, we’ll take the whole of Cerberus down. We can’t just stop living until then.”

Barton nodded his agreement. “We’ll get them. For now, let’s just have some fun.”

“Watching you lot argue about movies?” Steve questioned.

You smiled. “What do you do for fun, Steve?”

Steve shrugged. 

“Well, what did you do for fun before you were Captain America?”

“Buck and I used to take girls dancing,” he replied.

Barnes snorted. “I used to take girls dancing. You just stood in the corner and watched.”

“You never danced?” you questioned.

“No one ever really wanted to dance with me.”

You smiled. “Me neither,” you held out a hand.

Steve eyed it suspiciously.

“Dance with me,” you insisted.

“Here?” he questioned, looking around. 

“Why not?”

“There’s no music,” Steve replied. “And…” he looked behind you at the rest of the Avengers.

“Music isn’t necessary,” you replied. “And your friends there won’t let me have you to myself in case I murder you. They can just continue arguing over movies.”

Steve considered, then placed his hand in yours before he pulled you close. As the two of you started swaying, you heard Romanoff murmur, “Steve Rogers, you are in a whole lot of trouble.”

_Yes_ , you thought, eyeing the way a smile slowly spread across his face as he moved with you. _Yes he is_.

* * *

“Report?” The Master asked through your phone.

“Not much to say,” you replied softly, making sure to keep your voice low. “I’d have Rogers wrapped around my finger if Romanoff would get out of my way.”

“So take her out.”

“I’m trying,” you told him. “Unfortunately she’s not giving me a whole lot of opportunities. Plus, it’s important that none of the others suspect me if I do take her out. Otherwise it’s game over. I just need to wait for the right time.”

“Not everyone in Cerberus is as patient as you are, Komodo.”

“I’m aware,” you replied, “But this is the closest we’ve been to them. It’s taking a long time, sure, but it’s working.”

“What about Strange and Spider-Man?”

“The Avengers are convinced they’re dead,” you told him. “They haven’t heard anything to suggest otherwise. I take it you’ve had no luck in finding them?”

“No. Everyone’s getting restless. We really need to hear something good from you soon.”

“Well I can’t sabotage my own mission just because everyone else is getting impatient,” you responded.

“Of course not. What if we sent someone else in to help?”

“That could well make this situation worse. With respect, they’re just starting to get comfortable with me. We shouldn’t do anything to put them on edge.”

“Have you got any other ideas?” 

You considered. “What if you could take their attention off of me for a little while? Do something dramatic. Something that hurts them. I might be able to get this plan moving quicker if they have something else to focus on.”

“I’ll make the suggestion,” he decided. “It might take a little while if we want this to be on a big enough scale to grab their attention, but it just might work.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Murder, Language (Swearing)

It had been a whole year. A whole damn year, and you were still no closer to killing any of the remaining Avengers.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. You were closer to Steve than ever, and Barnes was starting to leave you alone with him every now and again. But other than that? Romanoff still shut down every suggestion of giving you a bit more freedom instantly, and the others didn't exactly fight for your cause. 

You had always prided yourself on your patience, and you had told yourself that this was no different, but somehow it was. For the first time, you were growing restless. It made no sense - this was just another mission - but for some reason you couldn't wait for Steve to make a move on you so that you could move forward to the next phase of the plan. 

This constant waiting was driving you insane. You were frustrated, agitated, and bored.

At least, you were, until you heard a sudden crash and followed the sound to the recreation room. The scene you found wasn’t at all like you’d expected.

Steve and Barnes were holding Barton down, each of them wrapped around one of his arms while he pulled. Romanov stood in front of him, holding his face in her hands.

“I know, Clint. I know,” she was telling him. “But there is nothing you can do right now.”

“I can hunt down every one of those sons of bitches and put an arrow through their fucking skulls,” Barton growled, tugging against the super soldiers.

“And I swear to god, Clint, I will help you do it, but if you go out there right now they will kill you. That’s what they want.”

“I don’t fucking care!” he cried.

“We do,” she told him.

“Would you turn that off?” Steve called over Barton’s shoulder, nodding towards the television.

You glanced up at the screen, eyes widening at the blackened remains of a farmhouse. You quickly switched off the TV, turning back to the Avengers. “What’s happening?” you asked.

Barton’s eyes landed on you, filled with pure rage. “My kids were in there,” he spat.

Your eyes widened, muscles tensing as you felt the world slow down around you. “What?” you spoke.

“They were meant to be safe there,” Barton told you, “And Cerberus went and fucking blew them up. The kids, Laura…”

No. No. They wouldn’t have. Couldn’t have. You only killed the heroes. That was the rule. Their families were off limits. Their families had done nothing wrong. How did Cerberus even know that Barton had a family? You didn’t know that, and you’d been living with the guy for a year.

Your fists clenched and you ground your teeth together. You wanted to call the Master back right then and there to demand answers, consequences be damned. Let the Avengers see you do it. You didn’t give a shit.

You might have done it, too, if you hadn’t spotted the tattoo on your wrist ought of the corner of your eye. This was your mission. You had to complete it. You’d asked for a distraction, and you’d received, but... you had never believed this wold be the cost. You were an assassin, murder was something you did, but murdering children? Never.

The obvious play was to ‘accidentally’ convince Barton to go home. Even to go with him. But that wasn’t something you could do right now. Firstly, because the Avengers would never trust you if you did. Secondly, because you drew the line at killing children. Cerberus might have crossed that line, but you wouldn't, and you certainly wouldn't allow Clint to be killed because of it. 

You would assassinate him, you had no doubt. But you'd do it the right way. Without involving innocents.

You took a deep breath and knelt in front of Barton. “Listen to me,” you spoke evenly. “I get it. You want to go out there and tear them limb from limb, and I don’t blame you. But if you do what they expect, you’ll never succeed. Instead you wait. You plan. You train. And if you’re patient enough, you won’t have to stop at just the people who did that,” you pointed at the TV. “If we play this right, we can take down the entirety of Cerberus. If you go out there now you might get two or three before they kill you, but if you wait... If you wait we can get all of them. I’ll hold them down myself while you put arrows in their eyes.”

He eyed you carefully. “You cannot possibly understand...”

“I do, Clint,” you breathed, “I’ve been there.”

"You've lost a child?" he questioned.

"Yes."

“What did you do?”

“I made the people responsible pay,” you told him. “And I waited until the exact right moment, so that I knew it would cause them as much pain as possible.”

He kept his eyes on you as he considered your words. Eventually, he relaxed his muscles and the soldiers let go of his arms, allowing the man to fall to the ground.

“Okay," he whispered. "I'll wait. But I'm still pissed."

“I’d be concerned if you weren’t,” you told him.

The rest of the Avengers let out a sigh of relief. 

“I’m gonna go shoot some stuff,” Barton announced before he stood and stalked out of the recreation room towards the gym.

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Romanoff muttered before following.

You clenched your jaw before swallowing. “I need to go.”

“Where?” Steve asked.

“Anywhere. Alone.”

“But-”

You shut the door behind you, drowning out the rest of the sentence before you started walking the streets. You brain was moving quickly, trying to understand what had just happened.

Barton had family. Cerberus killed them to get to him. 

The thought made you feel sick. It was against the rules. Completely and utterly against them. And Clint had reacted in exactly the way you had when you...

You sighed. You had never questioned what Cerberus were doing before. The Avengers were dangerous. Without them, the world would have a chance to go on without that danger. But the more time you spent with them, the more human they became. You had some kind of connection with Steve, and you could already feel your relationship with Clint shifting. You weren’t friends, but the two of you suddenly understood each other in a way the other Avengers couldn’t.

But you believed in your mission. 

You walked for hours, your mind wandering from one topic to another. Cerberus to the Avengers to Steve and back again. Eventually you sat on a stretch of grass and gazed at the tattoo on your wrist. The whole reason you were here. The reason you joined Cerberus in the first place.

“What do I do?” You whispered softly to the raven on your wrist. As though it might answer. Might tell you what the right thing to do was. 

It didn’t.

* * *

“Where the hell have you been?” Steve demanded the moment you stepped back into the Compound.

Barnes, who had been with Steve in the entryway, quietly excused himself and stepped out of the room.

Steve ignored him completely, keeping his eyes on you. “You could have been killed! How many Cerberus assassins do you think are out there just waiting for the opportunity to... to...”

“Sorry, Mother,” you responded. “Didn’t realise I had a curfew.”

“You shouldn’t have just walked out like that!” he yelled. “It was irresponsible, reckless, stupid...”

“So exactly what you're like on a mission, then?"

You stared into each other’s eyes, straining to keep from looking down - from giving in. 

Steve clenched and unclenched his jaw. “I’m sorry,” he told you, though you could still see the anger in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I just… I don’t know what I would do if…”

“Careful Steve,” you warned. “You’re getting dangerously close to admitting you actually feel something for me.” 

You hadn’t intended for your voice to sound so bitter.

You saw a brief look of shock on his face as he let your words sink in, considering them for just a moment before he took two steps forward to close the gap between the two of you. He took your face in his hands and slammed his lips to yours.

You stumbled backwards, surprised at the force of his kiss. Steve quickly moved a hand to your lower back to steady you. Once you were stable, you pressed into him, moving your lips against his. _Finally._

Steve moved his other hand to your back and both hands traced upwards, slowly gliding over the muscles of your shoulders. Your own hands moved up Steve’s chest to tangle in his hair as your tongue dipped into his mouth. You moaned into his lips, wanting - needing - more.

He pulled back slightly and closed his eyes, his fingers digging into the back of your shoulders while Steve clenched his eyes closed and tried to even out his breathing.

You tried to ignore the insistent thumping of your own heart. Steve was your mission. Nothing more. This was all a part of the plan. 

And if the plan was to succeed, then you needed Steve to be falling at your feet. You needed to seal this deal now, while Romanoff wasn’t around to interrupt. 

“You don’t take things for yourself often, do you?” you whispered softly.

He grunted in reply.

“Do you want more from me?” you asked gently.

“Yes,” he admitted, opening his eyes to look at you.

“Then take it.”

His lips quirked up into a small smile. “Natasha will kill me.”

“Natasha doesn’t have to know,” you breathed.

“Natasha always knows,” he replied.

And then his lips were back on yours, his hands roaming your body as the two of you slowly stumbled into his room.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language

You flopped onto your back, head landing with a thud on Steve’s pillow. 

“Wow. What is in these?“ you questioned, pressing a hand into the pillow. “They’re so hard.”

Steve chuckled. “I didn’t use pillows when I was in the army. Over there, it was the hard ground and my jacket for a pillow if it wasn’t too cold. When I first got out of the ice, I spent a month sleeping on the floor. I’m getting better with the bed now but I still can’t sleep on those soft fluffy pillows.”

You snorted. “First time I slept on a soft, fluffy pillow I thought it was heaven.”

“Bring your own pillow next time, then.”

You rolled to face him, eyes sparkling. “There’s going to be a next time?”

Steve smirked. “If you don’t murder me.”

“If I was going to kill you I would have done it already.”

“That’s a relief. I was worried that I’d have to endure an ‘I told you so’ speech from Nat.”

“To be fair, I don’t think the speech would really bother you that much if you were dead.”

“Oh. Well in that case, feel free,” he smiled.

“Nah, I can’t be bothered. Besides, you stole all my weapons.” You grinned, looking at the pile of weapons Steve had collected on his bedside table while undressing you.

“All of them?” he questioned.

“Okay, you may have missed a few,” you admitted.

Steve chuckled. “How many do you need?”

You shrugged. “I figure it’s always better to be prepared.” 

“It’s almost as though you think an entire army of assassins is trying to kill you.”

“Something like that,” you agreed. 

A moment of silence passed before Steve reached for you. He pulled you towards him, and you let your head fall to his chest. His arm curled around your shoulders while you rested your hand on his abs. His other hand traced up your arm. “I’m sorry I shouted at you,” he murmured.

“You were right,” you admitted. “I shouldn’t have just wandered off by myself. I’m not used to having people care about me, I guess I’m still learning how to manage it. And what Cerberus did… I don’t think there’s a word which quite explains exactly how angry I was. How angry I still am. I just needed the space to get my head around it.”

“Yeah,” Steve whispered. “I’m pretty ropable as well.”

“Ropable?” you repeated. “Do people actually say that?”

“I believe I just did,” Steve responded.

You sighed. “How is he?”

“About how you’d expect,” he spoke. “He’s been switching between destroying practice dummies and sitting in the corner of the gym and staring at a blank wall. Nat got him to sleep just before you got back. Who knows how long that will last.”

“Is she still with him?” you asked.

Steve nodded.

“Good. When he wakes up he’s going to go through the realisation that it wasn’t a dream and that…”

Steve’s fingers traced down to touch your tattoo. “This was for your kid?” he asked gently.

“Yeah,” you couldn’t bring yourself to look into his eyes, so instead stared at his bicep. It was a very nice bicep, so it was perfectly normal for you to be staring at it… right?

Steve hesitated. “Do you mind if I ask…”

“I do, actually.” 

In fact, this whole line of questioning had you thinking about your motivations for being in Steve’s bed in the first place. It was becoming clear that you had enjoyed yourself far too much. When was the last time you had thought about the mission? Not since he started undressing you, at least. You started to pull away, but Steve caught you.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I won’t bring it up again.”

You sighed and allowed him to pull you back down to his chest, wrapping his arms around you.

“I should go anyway,” you told him. 

“Please don’t,” he muttered.

You hesitated a moment. “Okay. But I’m using you as a pillow because your actual pillows suck.”

Steve chuckled. “Okay.” He stayed silent for a moment before adding, “I’m really glad you came to us.”

“Me too,” you replied, closing your eyes.

* * *

It took you a moment to figure out where you were when you woke the next morning, but you pieced it together quickly. The rise and fall of Steve’s chest under your cheek, the way your body ached - feeling used in the best possible way...

You’d finally done it. Steve trusted you completely. And if Steve was willing to go this far with you, then the others would have to come around to the idea that maybe you were okay...

And then you could strike. You would take down the four remaining Avengers, and then you were done. You would go back to Cerberus, find out who called the hit on Clint’s family, put a bullet in that person’s brain on Clint’s behalf and then tell the organisation they could fuck right off. They’d crossed a line when they attacked children. You would finish this mission, but only because you needed to for yourself. Not for Cerberus.

You glanced over at the man sleeping next to you. _Your next target will be harder to kill than I am._

You shoved Tony’s words out of your mind just as Steve woke. He blinked a couple of times, looking down at you, then smiled. “Morning.”

“Morning,” you replied. “Should I be sneaking out of here before the others notice?”

Steve turned to glance at the clock before shifting slightly. “Don’t bother, they already know.”

“Oh?”

“It’s seven-thirty. They’ve never known me to get up any later than six. Ten minutes past they would have checked to make sure I was alive. The fact that they didn’t barge in here means they probably suspected anyway. They would have checked the room for life signs and found two, meaning...”

“They know I’m here.”

“And they’re being considerate enough to wait for us to come out before they give me a lecture about it.”

“Well in that case, how about we keep them waiting a little longer,” you smiled sweetly up at Steve and began trailing fingers down his chest.

Steve grinned, “I like the way you think.” 

His lips met yours, and you marvelled at how right it felt when he kissed you. You had discovered it last night, the first time you had been in his arms - there was something different about being with Steve. You had no idea what it was, but the moment he started touching you the rest of the world just seemed to fade away and there was nothing but him. 

You twisted and moved so that you straddled him, your hands moved up to cradle his face while his own fell to your hips. Your eyes never left his as you slowly ground against him.

He let out a breathy whimper and dug his fingers into the flesh of your hips. “God,” he whispered, “You are —”

A loud knock at the door had you snapping your head towards the sound.

“Sorry to interrupt, kids,” you heard a voice yell. Barnes. He continued, “You’re gonna wanna see this. Both of you.”

Steve groaned. “There are very few moments when I regret the decision to become a superhero,” he admitted softly. “This is one of them.”

You laughed and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “Shall we continue this later?”

“Yes,” he kissed you once more before you got up and started getting dressed. Steve began doing the same while you reclaimed your weapons from Steve’s pile.

There were two more quick kisses before the two of you eventually gave in and made your way to the kitchen, where the rest of the Avengers were already gathered.

Clint sat on a stool at the bench, staring blankly at a plate of eggs. Barnes stood by the entrance with his arms crossed. Romanoff had been leaning against the bench watching Clint, but the moment you entered she swivelled on her feet, crossed the room and slapped Steve across the cheek.

You winced.

Steve seemed to shake it off and looked down at her. “Sorry,” he said, though the tone suggested he didn’t mean the word at all.

“You could have been killed,” Romanov told him.

“I wasn’t,” he offered.

“Come on, Nat,” Clint spoke quietly from his chair. “It’s been a year. How long are we going to keep this up?”

“Shut up and eat your eggs,” she responded.

“I’m not hungry,” he replied.

Romanoff looked like she was about to answer, but you stepped forward instead. “Food is fuel for your body. You’re going to need the energy if you intend to take down Cerberus. Even more so if you want to make it painful.”

Clint considered your words for a moment, then sighed and scooped a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

“Look, I’m just as pissed at these guys for this as the rest of you,” Steve began, “But is revenge really the best solution?”

“Clearly you’ve never lost a child,” you responded. 

“They took all of our friends, Steve,” Clint told him. “And then they took my family. How else do you see this ending?”

You all stood silently for a moment, before Clint continued. “Also, in the spirit of Tony,” he turned to Steve, “Congrats on finally getting laid.”

Steve smiled sadly at that, but the words brought a sudden tightness to your chest. An aching feeling, like… was that guilt?

“Did you have a reason for bringing us out here?” Steve asked.

“Oh yeah,” Barnes hit a button and the security screen lit up with footage of a man standing at the front door. “This guy says he’s a friend of yours.”

You stepped forward, feeling your heart sink as you stared at the image. Dammit, this was not what you needed right now.

The Viper was standing on your doorstep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language, mentions of suicide
> 
> Side note: It seems the swearing isn't going away any time soon, so I'm going to stop posting language warnings at he beginning of every chapter. I think we get it by now. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Shit. You needed an explanation for this - fast. One that the Avengers would believe and still leave you clear of suspicion when the idiot inevitably screwed up.

The easiest solution would just be to tell the Avengers that you had no idea who the hell this weirdo was, but if they had sent Viper here, it was likely because they were already concerned about your loyalties. You were going to have to do this the hard way.

You groaned. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“Should we let him in?” Barnes asked.

“I mean… It wouldn’t be the greatest loss to society if Cerberus killed him…”

“Let him in,” Steve spoke. Barnes hit a button on the security panel and the group of you began walking through the hallways to greet him.

“You may regret that,” you murmured to Steve.

“Why?” he asked, just as you arrived at the entrance hall, where Viper stood with a cocky grin on his face.

“Everyone,” you announced, “Meet my dickhead ex-boyfriend.”

To his credit, Viper picked up the role quickly. “Aww, don’t be like that babe,” he reached forward to wrap an arm around your waist. “We were good together. Great, even.”

You turned to stare at him. “You have exactly three seconds to remove your hand from my body before I break it off.”

He made a show of rolling his eyes before he stepped back. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” You demanded.

He smiled, “I think you’re probably aware of the group of assassins trying to murder superheroes, yeah? So I spend a whole year travelling the world trying to get on top of the problem, and then I’m in a motel in Canada when I see my girl on TV with the Avengers-“

“I’m not your girl,” you told him.

Viper continued as though you hadn’t spoken, “And I thought maybe she had the right idea. So here I am.”

“You’re a hero?” Steve questioned.

“I am.”

“Part of any initiatives?”

“I’m more of a solo guy than a team player.”

Steve turned to you. “Is this the guy you were telling us about the day you got here?”

“Yep.”

“What do you think the chances are that he would switch sides?”

“He’ll go wherever there’s more chance of fame and fortune. He’s not in this game to help people, that’s for sure.”

“Really, babe?” Viper asked. “I seem to remember you were right there with me.”

“Yes,” you agreed, “Until I realised that just because you were on the right side of the battle didn’t mean you were there for the right reasons. Also, you were a manipulative jerk.”

“Well, that’s harsh, don’t you think?” He smiled.

“Nope,” you replied. 

“You’re not gonna make this easy for me, are you?” He sighed. “What can I do to prove to you I’m still on your side?”

You shrugged. “You don’t prove it to me, you prove it to them,” you gestured to the remaining Avengers.

“Not gonna lie,” Steve murmured. “There’s a part of me that really wants to kick him out.”

“I’ll endorse that,” you replied.

“That’s because you two are too close to this.” Romanoff turned to you. “You already hate him,” she turned to Steve. “And you are gonna hate him simply because he got her into bed before you did, so-“

“Hold on,” Viper interrupted, glancing between you and Steve. “You’re fucking Rogers?”

“That’s none of your business,” you snapped.

“What would you have us do, Nat?” Steve asked.

“Same thing we did with Y/N. He stays, we try to protect him from Cerberus as best we can, but under strict conditions.”

“You’re the one who wanted to kick her out when she got here,” Steve reminded her.

“You were right, Steve. We can’t be heroes if we’re throwing people on the streets to survive on their own.”

“Just as long as it’s noted that I am absolutely not taking any responsibility if he kills us all,” you informed them. “I don’t trust him, he’s not my friend, and honestly I’d throw him out if it was up to me.”

“Gee, thanks babe,” Viper muttered.

Romanoff nodded. “Would you show him to a guest room and then the training room? We need to make sure he’s capable of taking on Cerberus and surviving.”

You nodded, and gestured to Viper to follow you through the hallways. You stayed silent until you made it to an empty guest room, then shut the door and hissed, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Not gonna lie, kinda thought you’d be happier to see me.”

“Are you kidding me? I was so damn close and now you’re going to ruin everything!”

“Ruin everything? You’re fucking Rogers! Why the hell is he still alive?”

“Because I need them to trust me - all of them. It’s taken me a whole fucking year for me to get Rogers to trust me enough to let me into his bed, and because I didn’t kill him, the others are starting to think I’m trustworthy, but then you show up and I’m back to... ugh.”

“It’s been a year, we’ve seen no progress. We thought you would talk Barton into taking the bait we set out yesterday, but no, so clearly you need a little help.”

“Bait? That’s what you’re calling it? That was a slaughter, and I swear to God, Viper, if you so much as mention it I will put a bullet through your fucking brain.”

He blinked, “What?”

“We don’t kill innocents, remember? They were children! So no, I didn’t talk Barton into that, because you went too far.”

He chuckled. “Why are you so mad? You’ve killed how many people, and you’re upset over a couple of kids?”

“There’s meant to be no collateral damage. That’s the difference between us and them.”

“Choose your next words carefully, Komodo,” he spoke softly. “What you’re saying sounds awfully close to treason.”

You stood taller, stepping towards him, “This is my mission, and I have every intention of completing it, no matter what. So if I have a choice between saving your ass and keeping my cover, I’m throwing you to the wolves. Understood?”

He considered for a moment. “I presume your dickhead ex is part of the backstory you gave them?”

You quickly filled him in on what the Avengers had been told about your past.

He nodded silently. “And I suppose you couldn’t have placed me in a better light at all, rather than casting suspicion on me the moment I got here.”

“From what they know about me, you’re either my dickhead ex or HYDRA. I think you’ve got more chance as the ex.”

He snorted. “Why on Earth would they believe that you’re ex-HYDRA?”

“Because it’s true,” you told him.

“You were HYDRA?”

You rolled your eyes. “Also, if I hate you, then I’ve still got my cover if you screw up. If I vouch for you and you mess this up, then I’m done. And as I already said, this mission is more important to me than your life.”

“That’s lovely. It really is.”

“You were the one concerned about my loyalties. C’mon, We’ve gotta get you to training.” 

He sighed and began following you through the hallways to the training room. The Avengers showed up a moment later, and Romanoff didn’t hesitate to step into the ring. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.,” Steve began, “Could you please tell us how many weapons does…” Steve hesitated, glancing at Viper.

“Zach,” Viper offered.

“Great. How many weapons does Zach have on him right now?”

“Thirteen,” Came the reply.

Steve nodded and passed him a tray. “All weapons in there. You can have them back when we’re done.”

Viper sighed and started removing his weapons. “Did you get this treatment when you got here, too?” he asked you.

You shrugged. “More or less.”

Steve chuckled and you couldn’t help grinning. You had no doubt he was thinking about how you’d pulled a gun on Clint. He really had found it amusing.

“What?” Viper asked, looking between the two of you.

“Nothing,” you replied. “Get up there, Nat’s waiting.”

Steve gave him the same instructions you had when you’d first arrived, then came to stand next to you. “Fight,” Steve called, before lowering his voice. “What’s this guy’s play?”

“Well, he can fight, obviously,” you gestured to the scene in front of you. “He’s also manipulative as all hell. Like I told you, he manipulated me into furthering his career, but what he did to me was nothing. I’ve seen him talk criminals into shooting themselves. Honestly, I see two possibilities here. One, he’s angling to be an Avenger by the time this is over - you guys are listed as the best of the best, he’s wanted to be in that club for as long as I’ve known him. Or…”

“Or he joined Cerberus and he’s here to take us out,” Steve murmured.

You nodded. “And then he gets the fame of being the guy who killed the Avengers. Either way…”

“He’s trouble,” Barnes spoke from your other side. 

You nodded.

“Let’s assume worst case,” Steve spoke, “And say he’s here to kill us. What’s his plan?”

You considered. “Clint.”

“What?” Upon hearing his name, he looked up from staring at his hand. 

You glanced down, taking in the gold band he now wore on his finger. “Wedding ring?” you asked.

Clint nodded. “I never used to wear it when I was away from home. Couldn’t risk the bad guys finding out I was married. But now…” his voice trailed off.

“That man’s words are like poison,” you told the Avengers. “He says something to you, and you think it’s harmless, ten days later, those words have worked their way through your mind and soon enough what you thought was a meaningless sentence has influenced you so dramatically that you’re doing things you would never normally consider. Clint’s in a bad place right now, so if he’s Cerberus, he’ll probably start with you. He’ll take what Cerberus did to you and use it as ammunition. Plant ideas in your head, make you think it was your fault, until…”

“Until I jump off the top of this building because I can’t take the guilt,” Clint finished.

“And even if you don’t, if he gets you emotional enough you’ll mess up a mission. So then it’s your fault you died, and he moves on to the person who is hurt the most by your death.”

“This is all theoretical, of course,” Barnes muttered.

“Of course,” you agreed. “The other possibility is that he’s just a jerk and he wants to get famous.”

Clint looked at you. “And you dated this guy?”

“Hey, I was straight out of HYDRA,” you defended. “I didn’t know any different back then. Do you know how easy it is to manipulate someone in that position?”

“Okay, well,” Clint stretched out his arms, “There’s no way in hell I’m jumping off any buildings. I have every intention of wiping Cerberus off the face of the planet, and I can’t do that if I’m dead. So how did you fight off his magical charisma or whatever? Is it a superpower?”

“I don’t know,” you mused. “Maybe, but it’s not like mind control or anything. I just keep reminding myself that the guy’s an asshole and every word that comes out of his mouth is likely to be a lie.”

The group fell silent as you watched the rest of the fight. You wondered if maybe you had told them too much. You’d handed them all of the secrets to what Viper did. Surely, if he was here, then not telling them anything was the best option. There’d be less work if he managed to kill any of them, and then when they worked it out, you’d still be in the clear to finish the job. So why tell them anything? 

And now the aching feeling in your chest was back. Fantastic.

“You okay?” Steve breathed into your ear.

“Of course,” you responded with a smile.

He opened his mouth to say something more, but was interrupted by the sound of Romanoff slamming Viper onto the mat. “Not bad,” she murmured. “Certainly enough to fight off the average Cerberus assassin, but…”

“Right,” Steve spoke. “Buck, you wanna accompany Nat and our new friend down to the lab for his identity check?”

“Identity check?” Viper questioned.

“Bloods, fingerprints, DNA,” you told him. “I did one too.”

He nodded and followed Romanoff and Barnes down the hall, leaving you with Steve and Clint.

“Anyone else get the feeling,” Clint breathed, “That he is definitely not on our side?”

“Yep,” you supplied.

“Yeah,” Steve took your hand in his. “We need to be careful around that one.”

You bit your lip, trying to ignore the pang in your chest.

* * *

That night as you made your way to your private quarters, Steve’s hand shot out and gripped your wrist. He pulled you into his own room, pushed your against a wall and held you there while he kissed you. The kiss was slow and deep, and you gave yourself over to him in that moment. 

He pulled black slightly to murmur. “Stay with me tonight.”

“Steve-“

“We don’t have to do anything,” he continued. “I just want to be with you.”

You knew that you really should tell him ‘no’. Go back to your own room so that Viper wouldn’t get any more suspicious, and you knew that things had almost gotten out of hand the night before. Spending so much time with this man was making you loose sight of the mission. 

But you were pretending to fall for Steve, and if you were falling for him, you surely would have stayed.

You pressed your lips back to Steve’s, melting into him as he guided you to the bed.

It was the second night you spent in Steve’s arms.

The night after that, you brought your own pillow.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> General Note: Funny story - for a while now I've had an extension installed on chrome which changes Y/N to 'Casey' (my actual name.) It has recently come to my attention that Google has also been changing that on everything I post, so whenever I wrote Y/N in this story, it posted as 'Casey', which I imagine must have been quite confusing. Sorry about that everyone! The issue has now been resolved and past chapters have been edited.
> 
> Chapter Warnings (which can coincidentally also be considered spoilers): Murder

“So what’s the deal with you two?” Clint asked as he entered the kitchen and headed straight for the coffee machine. “Are you actually together or just... you know. Having some fun.”

“Umm,” Steve looked at you from his place beside you at the table. “I guess we haven’t really discussed it.”

“You’ve been sleeping in the same bed for three weeks and you haven’t even talked?” Clint asked.

Barnes snickered. “I don’t know what you think is happening in that room, Clint, but it is definitely not talking.”

“We do talk,” Steve defended. 

“We do,” you agreed. Actually, you talked a lot. But there was one topic you always avoided. “We don’t talk about the future.”

“Why not?”

“Because of Cerberus,” you told him. “Until we’ve dealt with them, there is no future for us. Odds are we’re going to end up killed by one of them. But while we’re both alive, we’re going to make the best of it.”

“And you agree?” Clint directed the question at Steve.

“I didn’t realise you were a relationship therapist now, Clint,” Steve responded.

“That wasn’t a yes,” Clint murmured.

“This is Steve we’re talking about,” Barnes commented. “He wants to take her out dancing and give her flowers and buy her a house with a white picket fence and have three kids and get a dog. But we’re superheroes being hunted down by a cult of assassins, so he’s making the most of what he’s got.”

You winced. Steve reached over to squeeze your hand while Clint silently drank his coffee, staring at his feet.

“Shit,” Barnes spoke, realising what he’d said. “Sorry, I didn’t think.”

“It’s alright. Not your fault,” Clint responded. “Speaking of blaming people though, how would you feel if I killed your ex?”

“Elated.”

“Where is the ex?” Barnes questioned. “I haven’t seen him all day.”

“Med bay,” Clint answered. “There is a possibility that I broke his nose.”

“Clint—” Steve started.

“I know, we’re not supposed to hurt the guests, but he’s an asshole and I’m about ninety per cent sure he’s Cerberus at this point.”

“What did he say?” You asked.

“He asked if I thought my family would still be alive if I had been there to protect them,” Clint told you. 

You sighed. Viper had been getting impatient, it was only a matter of time before he started trying to stir things up. You were still waiting for him to do something drastic and ruin your plan completely.

“So you hit him,” Steve concluded, sitting back in his chair.

“Hell yeah, I did,” Clint replied. 

“To be fair, Steve, I would have hit him too,” you told him

“Thank you,” Clint spoke.

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but he was stopped by Romanoff, who entered the room just as Clint finished speaking. 

“His nose was broken,” Romanoff told Clint. “Fully healed now.”

“Should’ve left it broken,” you muttered.

“Hey Nat, you’re good at reading people,” Clint mused. “What’s going on between these two?”

“Clint,” Steve spoke. “Leave it.”

“He loves her but doesn’t want to push it too far because he knows she’s not good at dealing with emotions. She loves him, but she’s holding back,” Romanoff moved to pour herself a cup of coffee. “Possibly because she’s not good at dealing with emotions, but I think it’s more than that. Haven’t quite figured it out yet.”

Her eyes connected with yours for a moment before you looked at Steve. Steve glanced down before looking back at Romanoff.

“Well that’s awkward,” Bucky muttered.

You stared at the ground, feeling heat flood through your body. It was definitely awkward, but at least you knew that you had the ‘falling in love with Steve’ act nailed. If Romanoff believed you, there wasn’t a person alive who wouldn’t.

A beeping noise alerted you to a new mission, relieving you from finishing the conversation. You let out a small sigh of relief and stood up. “So… shall we leave Zach here to be murdered by Cerberus?” You asked.

“Sounds good to me,” Clint remarked.

Steve sighed. “I’ll go and get him. Meet you in the jet.”

“Damn,” you whispered. There was no way that taking Viper on a mission was going to end well.

* * *

Ten minutes later, the six of you were racing into a burning building with no regard for your own safety. The only thing that mattered was getting anyone you could out of there - and taking down the A.I.M. operatives scattered through the building. You spent the next hour running through the building, playing your role as an Avenger. You had to admit that you did enjoy helping the innocents escape. It occurred to you that heroism was becoming a guilty pleasure. 

When you could no longer find anyone you returned to the ground floor, coughing as you met up with the rest of the team.

“Is that it?” you asked.

“Looks like it,” Steve nodded. 

“This is awesome,” Viper grinned next to you.

“People died,” you told him.

“Yeah, but we were awesome.”

“Can we just leave him here?” you asked.

A rumble from above saved the others from answering. The six of you looked up just as the building collapsed on itself. Everything happened quickly - you heard a few swear words and next thing you knew, you were crammed under a pile of rubble, Barnes’ metal arm holding it above you and Viper.

“Everyone okay?” you heard Steve call.

“All good here,” Barnes replied. “You?”

“We’re fine. I think we’re gonna have to split up to get out of here though.”

“Yeah. We’ll meet you out front.”

“Kay. And Buck-”

“Don’t worry, Steve. I’ll look after your girl.”

With a grunt, Barnes heaved his load upwards, throwing the rubble off of him and turning to the best escape route.

“Move what you can,” Barnes instructed, “But be careful.”

Wordlessly, you started attempting to shift various pieces of rubble. For the most part, it was a simple process, but every now and again you found a piece that needed some extra strength. That’s where Barnes came in - between super serum and a metal arm, the man was able to lift large bricks and beams that you could never hope to.

You were nearly at the edge of the building when Viper muttered, “Oh, this is perfect,” and shoved a syringe into Barnes’ neck.

Barnes widened his eyes as he dropped to the ground, landing on a small pile of rubble.

You stared. “What the hell?”

“Paralysis poison. You think they call me ‘Viper’ for nothing?”

“Are you kidding me? You just ruined this entire mission! Do you expect to kill him and then return to the Avengers with just the two of us and convince them that someone else did it? Dammit, Viper,” you ran a hand through your hair.

“Nope, I thought this out,” he tossed you his gun. “You kill him.”

“Huh?”

“You kill him. Prove to me that you’re still on our side, then I’ll disappear and you can pin the blame on me. You can take out the rest in your own time, Komodo.”

“Are you serious? This whole thing is just a fucking test?”

He shrugged. “Cerberus are concerned about your loyalty. Give us a kill, and we’ll get off your back. And, well, you kinda have to do it now, because he can hear us.”

You hesitated, then stared down at Barnes, who was staring up at you with wide eyes. 

“I had a plan,” you insisted.

“And how well was that going for you?” Viper asked. “Adapt. C’mon, you think that he won’t run straight to your little boyfriend and tell him who you are if you let him live?”

Barnes groaned.

“Wow, he can speak. That’s very impressive, he shouldn’t be able to do that for twenty minutes,” he glanced down at Barnes. “I always thought your super serum was a cheap knockoff, but it actually is good, isn’t it?”

You sighed and bent down to pick up Viper’s gun. “I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it, sister. We’re on the same team, remember?”

“Steve,” Barnes croaked, forcing the words out. “Don’t… tell…”

“Don’t worry, buddy, I don’t think she’s gonna tell Steve that she’s an assassin. Well, not until she kills him at least.”

You frowned, glancing into Bucky’s eyes. Somehow… That wasn’t what he meant. 

“Me…” he managed.

Oh. He didn’t mean that you should avoid telling Steve who you were - he didn’t want you to tell Steve that you had killed him. Of course. There was a small chance that Steve would forgive you for his past - after all, you wouldn’t be the first assassin he worked with. But if you took his best friend from him… That would never be forgiven. He would never forgive you, and he would never forgive himself. Because inevitably, he would blame himself. If he didn’t trust you, then Bucky wouldn’t have…

You swallowed the lump in your throat, glancing at the tattoo on your wrist. This was your mission. You had to do it. For her.

“Y/N,” Bucky whispered.

“I won’t,” you assured him. “I promise.”

You took a deep breath, ignoring the tightening in your chest. It was time to stop lying to yourself about who you were.

You straightened up, locked eyes with Bucky, and fired.


	11. Chapter 11

“What the fuck have I just done?” you whispered. The world was spinning around you. You stared at the gun in your hand before dropping it to the ground. This made no sense. Nothing made any sense.

“I think,” Bucky offered, “That’s what we call switching sides.”

You fell to your knees, glancing over at Viper’s lifeless body. 

“Want to tell me why I’m still alive?” Bucky twitched his fingers. The paralysis poison was wearing off much faster than Viper must have anticipated.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “You mentioned Steve and I just… I couldn’t.”

“You really are in love with him, aren’t you? It’s not just an act.”

“Of course it’s an act,” you defended. 

“Is that what you’ve been telling yourself?” Bucky asked.

You sighed. Your chest hurt. Badly. Had you really just given up everything you’d worked for, for a man? And not just any man, Steve Rogers was practically the reason you had joined Cerberus in the first place. This was a nightmare. 

“Emotions aside,” Bucky spoke. “We need to work out what needs to be done right now. Is there any way that Cerberus can find out what you did here?”

“It’s highly likely,” you told him. “They sent Viper because they were concerned about my loyalties. If they find out that we’re both alive and he’s dead, chances are they’ll terminate me.”

“As in terminate the mission?”

“As in activate the microchip in my head that will short circuit my brain, causing me to drop dead in three seconds.”

“Right. Let’s try and make sure that doesn’t happen. I take it Cerberus have been watching the Compound?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t be surprised if they are watching the front of this building.”

Bucky sighed, “Then you’re going to have to tell the team I’m dead. Steve will be a wreck, but that will sell the story.”

“You think Cerberus aren’t going to notice that we don’t have a body?”

“I was mind controlled by HYDRA. Literally the first thing I did once I came to my senses was to plan out 64 different ways to fake my own death in case they ever tried to take me again. Don’t worry about the body, I’ve already got that covered. You just gotta tell the team I’m dead. They’ll be devastated, but If Cerberus sees that, then maybe they’ll believe it. It should buy me enough time to get to a local safe house and make the necessary arrangements.”

You paused, looking at him. “That’s an awful lot of effort to go through just to keep me alive.”

“Yeah, well, I promised Steve I’d look after you.”

You raised your eyebrows at him, “I could have killed you. I was going to kill you. Once Viper set up the shot, I had every intention of taking it.”

“But you didn’t. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

You snorted. “It tells me I’ve been spending too much time with Steve.”

“Steve brings out the best in all of us. It’s why he’s in charge.”

You sighed, “I’m not sure that today was my best.”

“Given that I’m alive and that asshole is dead,” Bucky looked over to where Viper’s body lay on the rubble, “I’m inclined to disagree.” Bucky stared for a moment longer before turning back to you, “Did you really date him?”

You snorted. “God no.”

“Well that’s something, I guess,” Bucky smiled. “You need to go, we’ve already been here too long. Steve will come looking soon. Can you get the rest of the way out of here?”

You glanced at the remaining rubble between you and the exit. “I think so,” you told him.

“Then go.”

“You’ll be okay? You’re still…”

“The poison’s wearing off,” Bucky responded. “I’ll be fine.”

You nodded and lifted yourself to your feet. You took a deep breath and started shifting the rubble to get through to the edge of the building.

Steve and the others were waiting for you at the front of the building, and you didn’t hesitate to collapse into Steve’s arms. 

“Steve,” you whispered. 

“Whoah, hey, where are the others? We heard shots, I was just about to go find you.”

“Zach was Cerberus,” you told him. “And Bucky… Bucky…”

“What about him? Where’s Bucky?”

“He’s gone, Steve. Zach got him before I could stop it.”

Steve froze, staring at you. A moment later, he was punching through the wall of the building, crying out. 

“I’m so sorry, Steve,” you spoke. “I should have been able to do something. I never trusted Zach, I should never have—“

“Shh,” Steve muttered, dragging you back into his arms, “This is not your fault, okay?”

“We need to get back to the Compound,” Natasha interrupted. “We’re vulnerable to attack where we are.”

“The body—“ Steve started.

“Natasha’s right,” Clint interrupted. “What would Bucky tell you to do?”

Steve sighed. “He’d tell us to get the hell out of enemy territory while we still can.”

* * *

There was an uncomfortable silence around you as the three of you returned to the Compound. No one had said anything on the jet. Steve just grasped your hand in his, squeezing occasionally as though he was reminding himself that you were still there. When you entered the Compound Natasha and Clint left without a word. You led Steve back to his room, and the moment you were alone you pulled him to you and wrapped your arms around him. 

“I’m so sorry, Steve,” you whispered.

“It’s not your fault,” he murmured. “How many more people are we going to lose before this is over?” 

“None,” you replied. “We’ll make sure of it.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, but we will. Come on,” you leant back and brushed a tear from his cheek. “Let’s go get cleaned up, yeah?”

Steve nodded, and you made your way to Steve’s ensuite to start the shower before the two of you helped each other undress and stepped under the stream to wash away what was left of the mission.

When you finished, Steve handed you an oversized shirt for you to wear, and the two of you moved to the bed, where he held you to him. You didn’t say a word, just clung to each other. Tony’s words began to fill your head. _When you break his heart, try to be gentle._

Dammit, Bucky was right. Somehow, amongst all of this mess, you’d fallen for Steve. And Tony knew it was going to happen. 

Tony was right, too. If you weren’t going to kill Steve, then sooner or later he would find out who you were, and it would destroy him. Particularly when he found out exactly who you’d murdered. Or, you could just leave. Run far away and never looked back. Either way, you were going to break Steve’s heart. You sighed.

“Steve,” you whispered. “Can you do something for me?”

“Anything,” he replied.

You slipped your ring off your finger and passed it to him. “Look after this. And please don’t ask me why.”

“Is it important?”

“Very.”

“Okay,” he closed his fist around the ring. 

You leant over to kiss him, slowly but firmly. “I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Stop apologising for things that aren’t your fault,” he responded. “Cerberus are the only people we can blame for this.”

“I know,” you told him. “Steve, I…” You froze. What the hell were you supposed to do? Tell Steve the truth? Run away? Go and attempt to destroy Cerberus single-handedly?

Your thoughts were interrupted by a crash as Romanoff barged through the door, gun in hand. 

“Sorry about the intrusion, Steve," Romanoff spoke, "But I have some extremely important business to attend to." 

Clint was just behind her, arrow already knocked and drawn back, ready to fire.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked.

“Well, I just had a very interesting conversation over the phone,” Romanoff responded. “With Bucky.”

Well shit. Your eyes flicked back to Steve.

“But you said he was dead,” Steve breathed.

“I had to. If I told you the truth, I would have been killed.”

“Makes you wonder what else she’s been lying about, doesn’t it?” Clint questioned.

“Would you like to tell him, Komodo?” Romanoff asked. “Or should I?”

You sighed. “I’m an undercover operative from Cerberus known as the Komodo Dragon. My current mission is to infiltrate the Avengers, make them trust me, and then kill them without raising suspicion.”

“No,” Steve shook his head. “That’s a lie.”

You squeezed his hand and stood up. “You can put your weapons down, I’m not going to fight you.”

“You really think I’m going to drop this bow? You’re lucky I haven’t shot you already.”

“Clint,” you responded, “I swear to you, I had no idea what Cerberus were planning to do to your family. If I had, I would have stopped them. I’m perfectly fine with killing you lot, but your family… your children? Never.” You turned to Romanoff. “Where do you want me?”

“How does chained to a chair in our interrogation room sound?” she asked.

You nodded. “Okay.”

“No wait, stop,” Steve scrambled off the bed to place himself between you and the remaining Avengers. “This is ridiculous. She’s not an assassin, she’s been here for a year!”

“She worked for Tony for two years,” Romanoff replied. “Look where he is.”

Steve hesitated, then turned to face you. “You didn’t. Tell me that’s not true.”

Your heart clenched as you looked at him. It was like you could see his heart breaking in slow motion. You sighed. “Steve… I was never apologising for Bucky.”

You averted your gaze as soon as you’d said the words and walked past him, refusing to look back as Romanoff led you through the corridors of the Compound to Interrogation.


	12. Chapter 12

You shivered the entire time you sat alone in the interrogation room. Your bare feet rested on a tile floor, you sat handcuffed to a metal chair, and the only thing you had to keep you warm was Steve’s shirt. You stared at the raven tattooed on your wrist. Was this really the right thing to do?

You weren’t sure of what was right or wrong anymore. But every time you breathed in, all you could smell was Steve’s scent on his shirt, and all you could think was ‘at least he knows the truth.’ 

Too bad he would never forgive you for what you’d done.

The door opened, and you looked up to see Steve enter and sit on the other side of the table. It wasn’t quite Steve, though. The way he moved, the way he kept all emotion off his face... No, this was Captain America. Sent to interrogate the prisoner.

“Just so you know,” Steve started, “Clint is eager to get his hands on you. If you don’t co-operate-“

You rolled your eyes. “I let Natasha attach me to this chair, didn’t I?”

Steve ignored your comment and leant back in his chair, watching you carefully. “Bucky explained to me your situation regarding the microchip in your head. Is that why every Cerberus assassin we’ve caught has dropped dead?”

“Partly,” you told him. “Cerberus have the ability to activate the chip at any time they see fit. If we switch sides, for example, they activate the chip and the traitor is dead before they can say anything. But Cerberus don’t always know that we’ve been captured. In that situation, we activate the chip ourselves.”

“So you’re alive right now because Cerberus don’t know you’ve been captured.”

“Yes.”

“Why haven’t you activated it yourself?”

“The first reason is, I don’t want to activate it. If you spoke to Bucky, then he told you that I’m on your side.”

“He mentioned it. What’s the other reason?”

“I can’t activate it,” you told him. “I gave you the trigger four hours ago.”

Steve’s eyes widened, and he slowly placed your ring on the table. “This can kill you?”

“Yes. Would you like to know how it works?”

“Please.”

You showed Steve the function of the ring - how to turn off the safety mode and actually activate it - before placing it back in front of him.

“Why would you give me this?” He questioned.

“You knew that I could be an assassin, but you trusted me anyway. Enough to put yourself on the line just to be with me. This is me returning the favour. I know you can’t trust me right now, but I trust you. With my life.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Steve, I understand how betrayed you must feel right now. I really do. But I promise you, what we have is real.”

“What we had,” Steve corrected. “Anything that was happening between us is over. You can’t honestly believe that after this we would still...”

You sighed and nodded. You had suspected that your relationship with Steve ended the moment he found out who you were, but hearing the confirmation still stung.

Steve cleared his throat and began questioning you again. “Why did you join Cerberus?”

“Have a look at your history, Steve. First it was New York, then Sokovia, then the Infinity War. Your battles are getting bigger, more violent, and the number of casualties is growing bigger every time you save the world.”

“Because the threats are growing bigger,” Steve countered. “It’s harder for us to contain them.”

“Yes. But that’s because you’ve been noticed. Your existence has made Earth an inter-galactic target. We would be safer without you.”

Steve considered your words before he responded. “I didn’t ask for the Cerberus sales pitch. I want to know why you joined.”

You sighed. “I did a lot of stupid things when I was working for HYDRA. It’s a hazard of being raised by them, I think. One of those stupid things was getting pregnant. When I learned of the baby, all I could think was that if HYDRA ever found out they would take my baby away from me. Turn them into a weapon, just like they did me. And I didn’t want my child to live the life I did.”

Steve nodded. “And that’s why you left.”

“I started running and didn’t stop. Not until I found myself in a hospital bed three years ago with a baby girl in my arms. And she was... She was beautiful. She was healthy and happy and I have no idea how I was going to be a mother, but I was going to do whatever it took. And then the Avengers got caught in a battle outside of the hospital.”

Steve clenched his eyes shut, rubbing his forehead with his hand. “I remember that day.”

You blinked. “You do?”

“I made a mistake,” he admitted. “It was the first real mission after the Infinity War, and I was so focused on keeping my team safe that I failed to notice the real danger. One mistake, and eighteen people died. I can tell you all their names except for one. A baby girl, two days old, who hadn’t been named yet.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and continued. “There was nothing I could do for her. All I wanted was to keep her safe and warm and happy, and I couldn’t even manage it for two days. So I thought that maybe if I can’t bring her back, then at least I can make sure that you don’t hurt anyone else.”

“By killing us,” Steve concluded.

“People make mistakes, Steve. I don’t blame you for that. But when you’re superhuman, a small mistake can mean so much. You made one mistake that day, and eighteen people died because of it. If you hadn’t been outside that building, my little girl might still be alive. And we know you’re never going to stop, your little argument over the Sokovia Accords proves that. Killing you was the only option left.”

Steve sighed. “Did you kill Tony?”

“Yes.”

“Did you kill anyone else?”

“Do you want a list?”

“How about just the Avengers.”

“Two others. Sam Wilson and Bruce Banner.”

Steve stared, open mouthed, before finally managing to say, “Nat, I think I’m going to need you to take over now.”

He waited silently until Natasha entered the room and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Go,” she told him. “I’ve got this.”

Steve nodded and stood, turning to leave.

“Steve,” you spoke softly. “You gonna take that with you?” You pointed to your ring, which still rested on the table. 

He looked back at you, then picked up the ring and shoved it into his pocket as he left.

Natasha took the seat Steve had been in and rested her arms comfortably on the table.

“Will he be okay?” you asked once he’d gone.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I tried to convince him not to question you to begin with, but he needed to hear the answers directly from you.”

You sighed, fingers touching the empty space on your finger where your ring used to sit.

“Let’s try and finish this off quickly, shall we? I’ve been on that side of the table, I know how unpleasant it can be.”

You shrugged. “I understand. It’s necessary.”

“We always thought Sam’s death was suspicious. Those new wing designs were approved by Tony Stark and four other experts - they should never have malfunctioned. But we thought Bruce died of natural causes. Care to elaborate?”

“Bruce invented a chemical compound intended to strip him of the Hulk if it was necessary. That compound didn’t quite work as expected. Tony and Bruce discovered that it would get rid of Hulk, but it would also get rid of Bruce. So they kept it locked away as a last resort, just in case. I slipped some into his tea.”

Natasha leaned back in the chair. “If Tony knew about that Compound, wouldn’t he have been suspicious of Bruce’s death?”

“I don’t think he had to be suspicious. Tony knew who I was.”

“What?”

“I don’t get it either. But Tony helped set this whole thing up. I was never an Avenger in Training, Tony gave me the ID card minutes before I killed him. Told me to be gentle when I broke Steve’s heart, like he knew this would happen. And then he let me kill him. Said it was the first step I would take to saving you all.”

“Tony wouldn’t just let you kill him,” Natasha replied. “He certainly wouldn’t have sat by while you killed Bruce. Not unless he thought there was a way to undo it. If he knew about this, he would have a plan. But without Doctor Strange we can’t go back—”

“Wait,” you interrupted. “Doctor Strange can go back in time?”

“He could before you murdered him.”

“Cerberus never got to Doctor Strange. Both him and Spider-Man disappeared just before the execution.”

“Doctor Strange is alive?” Natasha questioned. “And Spider-Man?”

“As far as I know,” you told her. “We haven’t had a confirmed kill through Cerberus yet.”

She stood quickly, “Excuse me, I need to go and have a chat with the other Avengers.”

* * *

Steve sat at the table in the meeting room, the file from the hospital incident open in front of him. He twisted the ring between his fingers as he looked over the details of the accident, and then the list of deceased. The live feed from the interrogation room was playing on the screen, but Steve had muted the sound. He couldn’t listen to that conversation. Not right now.

“You doing okay, Cap?” Clint asked, moving to sit next to him.

“I don’t know what to say, Clint,” Steve replied. “I mean… She killed people. She killed our friends. She talked to me about Tony’s murder straight to my face and I never even considered that she was the person who did it. She was always so compassionate and understanding and… it was all a lie. She murdered those people, lied to me, manipulated me, used me and I can’t even hate her. She did it because I killed her kid.”

“You know that’s not true.”

Steve sighed. “She was on the right track, Clint. She was turning her life around until I screwed up.”

“Steve, stop blaming yourself,” Natasha spoke as she entered the room. She sat down in front of them and continued. “Killing was literally all she knew before that child. It’s really no surprise that she returned to it afterwards. And that incident was not your fault. Really, the only thing we can blame you for is giving her a new reason to do the right thing.”

Steve clenched his fist around her ring. “I can’t forgive her, Nat.”

“What if you don’t have to? You stopped listening, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Steve breathed. “I didn’t want to hear anymore about how she killed my friends.”

“Well, hold onto your seat, because according to her, there’s two other people that Cerberus failed to execute, as they put it.”

Clint looked up. “Who?”

“Spider-Man and Doctor Strange.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “But if Doc is alive…”

Nat nodded. “We can go back in time.”

“We can bring them back?” Steve questioned.

“With her help, we could shut down Cerberus before they even start,” Nat replied. “I wanna bring her up here, see if there’s a way we can work this out.”

“You sure about that? This could all be part of her plan,” Clint pointed out.

“I don’t think she’s a threat. Besides, if she causes trouble,” she gestured to Steve.

“I can kill her instantly,” he held up the ring. 

“Clint, what if we can get your family back?” Nat asked.

“Okay,” Clint nodded. “Let’s do this.”

“Steve?” Nat prompted.

Steve considered. He didn’t trust her. He couldn’t trust her, not now. But if there was a chance, even a small one, he had to take it. He owed it to them. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Either we bring them back, or we die trying.”


	13. Chapter 13

Returning to the meeting room had been awkward, but at least it was better than being stuck in interrogation. Natasha had allowed you to go to your room and change your clothes first, and you grabbed the cell phone from under your mattress before returning to the Avengers.

You hesitated before you sat in your usual seat next to Steve, dragging your chair away from him slightly. 

Steve sighed and stared at the table. “Nat says that Tony knew about you. If that’s true, he would have had a plan.”

You nodded slowly. “I think I _am_ the plan. You would never have let me in here if I didn’t have that ID card, right? He gave me that card for his purpose, to get me to you.”

“Did Tony tell you how he knew?” Steve questioned.

“He said he was friends with a wizard.”

“Strange,” Natasha nodded. “We need to work out how to get to the Sanctum without Cerberus getting suspicious.”

“We blew up the Sanctum,” you told them.

“Did you, though?” Clint questioned.

“Strange is powerful, there’s a reasonable chance that he made it look like you blew it up,” Natasha told you. “If Strange is alive, that’s where he’ll be. And if Spider-Man disappeared at the same time…”

“If Tony knew this was going to happen, his first priority would have been protecting the kid. No safer place to hide him than with Strange,” Steve agreed.

“I’m sorry - the kid?” you questioned.

“Spider-Man is only 17,” Clint replied. “Kind of ruins your ‘no killing kids’ rule, doesn’t it?”

Your mouth hung open. You had no idea how to respond to that. If they’d sent you after Spider-Man… What if one of the heroes you’d already killed was only a child? 

You took a moment to recollect your thoughts. This could be fixed, that was the whole point of this conversation. “I can stop Cerberus from suspecting anything if we show up at the Sanctum.”

Steve looked at you doubtfuly. “How?”

“By telling them that we’re going. They won’t be surprised when we show up and it’ll keep me on their good side. Then whether we find anything or not, I tell them that we found nothing.”

The Avengers shared a glance before Steve said “Go ahead.” The way he spoke made it sound more like a challenge than permission.

You pulled your phone out of your pocked and scrolled to the contact for the Master.

“How long has she had that?” Clint asked.

“A year,” you replied. “If I make this call, I need you to be absolutely silent. I need to convince the Master that I’m still on his team. If he hears anything suspicious, he won’t hesitate to kill me.”

Once they’d agreed, you hit the call button and put the phone to your ear.

“Komodo,” the Master greeted. “We were beginning to think we wouldn’t hear from you.”

“I couldn’t contact you. The assassination on Barnes was successful, but the Avengers aren’t very happy about it. It would be hard to sell my relationship with Rogers if I disappeared while he mourned.”

“Where is he now?”

“Sleeping.”

“Okay then. Mission report?”

“Viper and I managed to get Barnes away from the rest of the team. Barnes worked out what was happening and shot Viper before I got Barnes. I told the Avengers that I killed Viper after he killed Barnes - my cover is secure.”

“We found the bodies,” the Master confirmed. “Should we send more assistance?”

“With respect, Master, you shouldn’t have sent Viper in the first place. He nearly blew up this entire mission in the three weeks he was here. And even if there was someone more capable, do you really think the Avengers will let someone else in after the last one turned out to be an assassin? If I vouch for anyone else, I’m done for. You need to let me handle this.”

“Then give me a plan. Who’s next? Rogers?”

“No, Rogers has to be last. Barton is next. Getting Barton will rattle Romanoff, which might get me the chance I need to take her out. After losing the rest of his team, Rogers will turn to me. And then…”

“Viper had concerns about this relationship between you and Rogers,” the Master spoke carefully.

“What concerns?”

“He thought you might actually feel something for him.”

You snorted. “Good. If Viper believed it then Rogers will too.”

“Komodo, tell me straight out - do you have feelings for Rogers?”

Oh, this was going to suck. “Apart from resentment? No. He’s a good lay, I’ll give him that, but the attraction ends when he stops fucking and starts talking.”

“Well, make sure it stays that way.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem. There’s something else,” you added. “Viper let some things slip last week, the current Avengers are starting to think that they may not be the only ones left alive. They’re planning to visit the New York Sanctum to see if they can get hold of Doctor Strange.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. It could be a good thing - this might lead us to the missing Avengers. But if the Avengers find Strange or Spider-Man before we do… You could be adding a few years to this mission timeline.”

“Okay, we’ll step up the search. In the meantime keep in contact.”

“Yes sir.”

You disconnected the call and placed the phone back on the table. A heavy silence fell over the room. Steve stared at you before declaring “I need a break,” and swiftly leaving the room.

Natasha moved to follow him, leaving you alone with Clint. You sighed and let your head fall forward into your hands. You were pretty sure there was absolutely no way you could have screwed this up any further.

Clint leaned forward. “Would you have told us who you were if it saved my kids?”

“Yes,” you replied without hesitation. “I know what it’s like to lose I child, I don’t want anyone else to go through that.”

“Even someone you blame for the death of your child?”

You sighed. “Killing your kids won’t stop you from killing other people’s kids. It’s both cruel and pointless.”

He leaned back in his chair. “See, the thing is, I now know that you’re a damn good liar.”

You didn’t respond.

“So if we do manage to go back in time,” Clint began, “What’s the best way to take out Cerberus.”

“There’s a failsafe in their headquarters. One button that activates everyone’s chip. Every single assassin will be killed in three seconds.”

“Wow. You bad guys really do like killing yourselves off, don’t you?”

You shrugged. “It was a necessary precaution. We all agreed that instant death was probably better than whatever would happen to us if anyone found out what we were planning.”

“That’s awfully convenient, you know. Makes it sound like they were planning to let you walk in and press a button to kill them all.”

“Yeah, that’s why there’s an extra security measure.”

“You have to die to activate it?”

You nodded.

“There’s got to be a better way.”

“Maybe. It really depends how far Strange can take us back. But I think this is the only way to guarantee that Cerberus won’t kill your friends for a second time.”

Clint sighed. “Steve will never let you go through with it.”

“I know,” you smiled, “Good thing I’m a damn good liar.”

Natasha re-entered the room then, looking between the two of you. “Best we get some sleep,” she announced. “It’s been a very long day. We’ll head over to the Sanctum tomorrow and see what we can find.”

You nodded, rising from your chair. Natasha put a gentle hand on your shoulder before you left the room. “He’ll come around, you just need to give him some time.”

You just shrugged before leaving the meeting room. You made sure to hold your head high as you walked past Steve’s room to your own, opening the door. How long had it been since you’d slept alone?”

Your heart leapt when you heard Steve call out your name. You turned slowly. He took a step towards you from his own doorway, and held out a pillow. Your pillow. 

You took it from him, he nodded slightly and returned to his room. Leaving you alone with a soft, fluffy pillow that smelt very much like Steve.


	14. Chapter 14

It was Natasha who knocked on your door to wake you up the next morning. She passed you a cup of coffee when you entered the kitchen. Clint nodded slightly when he saw you.

Steve kept his back turned, completely ignoring your presence.

“Cerberus have a group of assassins stationed outside the Sanctum,” you told them. “They won’t interfere with us. They want Strange and Spider-Man as badly as we do. They’re hoping that we’ll lead the way to them.”

“Has anyone been in contact with Bucky?” Clint asked.

“Yeah,” Steve answered softly. “He’s staying put for now. Doesn’t want to put _Komodo_ in danger by revealing himself too soon.”

You decided to ignore him, instead focusing on your coffee and the plate of food Natasha had placed in front of you. “Natasha,” you spoke softly. “Why are you being nice to me?”

“I’m not,” she replied. “I just no longer suspect that you’re secretly trying to kill us.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed, “Now when she kills us we’ll see it coming.”

“I know how hard it is to turn your back on everything you know,” Nat replied, glancing at you. “And I know how tempting it can be to change your mind. Particularly when the entire reason you switched sides is acting like that,” she pointed at Steve.

“What do you expect me to do, Nat?” Steve leant back to look over at the two of you. “Forgive her for killing some of my best friends? You expect us to just kiss and make up?”

“No, of course not,” Nat responded. “She was using you to get to the rest of us, you should be mad at her. And she represents the group that killed your family,” she looked at Clint, “So you have every right to hate her. But I never trusted her - I have no reason to be upset. So yeah,” she turned back to you, “I have to be nice to you. Because if we all treat you badly, there is every chance you’ll start to see us as the monsters you wanted to kill in the first place.”

“She killed Bruce,” Steve reminded her. “Are you really going to tell me that doesn’t bother you?”

“Steve, I have been trained over and over again to put my feelings to the side and do whatever I have to. Right now, my job is to get as much information out of her as possible and make sure she doesn’t see any reason to switch sides again.”

“He’s right though,” you murmured. “I’ve killed a lot of good people.”

“Yeah, well, so have I.”

* * *

The trip to the Sanctum was quiet. No one said anything unless it was necessary, and the silence was beginning to make you uncomfortable. You’d grown accustomed to bickering and constant chatter on the way to and from missions, and as strange as it might seem, you missed it.

The way Steve glanced over you as though you weren’t even there didn’t help.

Eventually you found yourself standing outside the ruined remains of the Sanctum, staring up at what was left of the building.

“What’s the plan here?” Clint asked.

Steve shrugged, “Walk through the front door.”

“It doesn’t have a front door anymore,” you pointed out.

“Sure, but it did.”

“Do you suggest we knock as well?” Clint questioned.

Steve shook his head and approached the remains of the building. You followed, all of you stepping through what remained of the doorway into the centre of what would have been the building.

“What now, genius?” Clint asked.

Steve sighed and squatted to the ground, running his fingers through the dirt. “Doc,” he murmured, “If you’re alive in here, it would be nice of you to show yourself.”

You glanced around, waiting for something to happen.

“Well, now you just look like you’re going nuts,” Clint muttered.

Steve shrugged. “People have been telling me that ever since I enlisted for the army. The first time.”

“Anyone else got any bright… ideas…” Natasha’s voice trailed off as she glanced around. 

The area around you swirled with golden light, and slowly the interior of the Sanctum came into view. Your eyes widened as you watched the changes around you. You had heard of magic of course, even studied it a little, but you’d never seen it. 

Finally, your eyes came to rest on the cloaked man in front of you, standing at the top of a grand staircase. 

“Doc,” Steve smiled, slowly climbing the staircase. “I gotta say, it’s good to see you.”

Doctor Strange nodded, then shook Steve’s hand. “And you, Captain.”

Strange turned towards you, descending the staircase as he spoke. “Miss Romanoff, Mr. Barton,” he greeted. “I’m sorry I was unable to contact you earlier. I had to make sure this series of events played out exactly the right way.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Clint asked.

“We needed Komodo here to turn against Cerberus. Unfortunately, that’s not something that could be rushed. If I showed up to early, changed the events in any way, I could have stopped that from happening.”

“If you knew this was going to happen,” you began quietly, “Why didn’t you stop it?”

“Because that future resulted in more permanent damage. With you on our side, we can take down the whole of Cerberus. That’s not something we can do by ourselves. We loose a lot of people this way, but they all come back. In the other scenario, we wouldn’t have been so lucky.”

“You couldn’t have at least saved my kids?” Clint asked.

“Why don’t you answer that?” Strange asked you.

You sighed. “Your family being killed… I joined Cerberus to stop that sort of thing from happening. I didn’t particularly want to kill Steve, but it wasn’t until then that I really started questioning what Cerberus were doing. If that hadn’t happened…”

“Bucky would be dead,” Steve finished. “And Clint would be next.”

You nodded.

“So you couldn’t save anyone?” Natasha questioned.

“I didn’t say that,” Strange answered. “Follow me.”

He lead you through the corridors of the Sanctum to a library. Nestled in a large armchair next to a pile of books was a teenage boy who glanced up.

You stared, eyes widening as your hand came up to cover your mouth. 

“We’ve got visitors,” Doctor Strange announced.

The boy fumbled the book in his hand as he quickly stood up. “Cap… um. Cap- Captain,” he stuttered. 

“You must be Peter,” Steve nodded, holding out a hand.

Peter quickly wiped his hand on his pants before shaking Steve’s hand. “Uh, hi, Mr. Hawkeye, Miss Widow,” Peter mumbled. “Um… Why is Mr. Stark’s assistant here?”

Steve looked between you, “You two know each other?”

“You’re Spider-Man,” you realised, eyes on Peter.

“You people really don’t appreciate the idea of a secret identity, do you?” Peter mumbled.

After a moment of silence, Peter continued speaking. “We met a few times. She used to bring me snacks when I was working late at Stark Industries.”

“She brought you snacks?” Clint repeated.

“Yeah. Is there a problem with that?”

“Let’s just say in this case, your secret identity was a good thing,” Steve muttered. “Otherwise the snacks might have been poisoned.”

Peter frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“She’s Cerberus,” Natasha answered. “At least, she was. Now she’s decided to help us bring our friends back. So, Doc,” Natasha turned to Strange. “Can you do it?”

“Bring us back to before the execution? Yes, but it’s risky. If we do this, we’ve only got one chance. If we fail we could tear the fabric of the universe.”

“That’s bad, right?” Peter asked.

“And if we succeed?” Steve asked.

“Everyone comes back,” Strange replied. “As if it never happened.”

“Then we’d better make sure we don’t fail,” Steve decided. “So, Komodo,” he looked at you, “How do we do this?”

* * *

You let out a heavy sigh, lowering yourself to sit on your bed so that you could tug off your shoes.

It had been a long day. You’d spent most of it planning out the mission with the rest of the team. Strange had even arranged for Bucky to be magicked into the Sanctum - he was still there now.

You, however, had gone back to the Compound and called the Master once again to tell him that you’d found nothing in the building. And then, finally, made your way back to your own room.

You looked up when you heard a knock on the door. It creaked open, and Steve leaned through. “Hey,” he spoke softly. “I was hoping we could talk.”

“I didn’t think talking was something we did anymore,” you mumbled.

He stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him before he came to sit with you on your bed. “In a single night, nearly everyone I loved was killed. My job was to protect those people, and I failed. Terribly. And then I met you and it felt like maybe it wasn’t all bad. Maybe we could become something, eventually. And then I found out that you were using me the whole time. The only reason we were ever close was because you saw a weakness in me and exploited it for everything you could. Even better, you had already killed some of the people I was closest to. So how do you expect me to trust you after all that?”

“I don’t,” you replied, shifting slightly. “You’re right. I could see you were hurting when we met, I knew that you were vulnerable, and I knew you would let me in if I pushed the right buttons. The problem was that at some point, I stopped pretending. I don’t even know when I did it. I convinced myself that what we had was just a part of the plan. Turns out I can even lie to myself and get away with it.”

“Which is half the problem. I’ve seen you lie, over and over again. You talked straight to my face about Tony’s death and I thought you actually missed him. I never even suspected that…” His voice trailed off, and he licked his lips before continuing. “There’s no way for me to know if you’re telling the truth or not. You could lead us into a trap tomorrow and I wouldn’t even be surprised. Just disappointed.”

“Is that why you’re here?” you questioned. “So that you can tell me you don’t trust me?”

“No,” he glanced down. “It was just something Clint said. He pointed out that either one of us could die tomorrow and as much as I can’t stand you right now, I don’t want you to think that it didn’t mean anything to me.”

“It meant something to me, too,” you whispered. “Maybe one day you’ll be able to believe that.”

He let out a dry laugh before looking over at you. “If you’d known who Peter was… Would you have killed him, too?”

“I’ve been asking myself that all day,” you admitted. 

“And?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d like to say that I wouldn’t have, but… I killed the others. Maybe I would have found a way to justify it.”

“But you won’t now.”

“No,” you shook your head. “After I take down Cerberus tomorrow, I’m done killing. I’m certainly done with revenge.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

“Yeah,” you pulled your legs up to your chest, hugging them to you. “Steve… You do know that what I said to the Master about you was a lie, right?”

The corner of his lips turned upwards. “So I’m not a good lay?”

You couldn’t help but smile. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” he assured you. “I just can’t tell if you lied to him then, or if you’re lying to me now.”

“I suppose you can’t,” you agreed. 

He sighed again and squeezed your shoulder, “Get some rest. It’s going to be a big day tomorrow.”

You nodded as he stood, opening the door. 

“Steve,” you called after him.

He turned to look at you.

“Goodnight,” you muttered.

He stared at you for another moment before replying, “Night.”

He closed the door behind him on the way out, leaving you alone in your room.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, finally got this one done! For anyone concerned; I have seen Endgame, but I'm sticking to the original plan for this story. There will be no spoilers in this fic.
> 
> Chapter Warnings (which can also be considered spoilers) : canon-typical violence, character injury, character death, vague descriptions of medical procedure.

The mood in the Compound was tense when you got up the next morning. You reported to the meeting room, and Clint immediately tossed you a pile of material.

“Get changed,” he instructed.

You looked down at the new suit in your hands. “What’s wrong with the one I’m wearing?” You questioned.

“Nothing,” Natasha replied. “This one just has a different logo.”

You frowned and shifted through the material to find the Avengers logo proudly displayed on the left side of the uniform’s chest. You looked up at them. “Seriously?”

“If you’re fighting this battle with us,” Natasha spoke carefully, “We figured we should make it official.”

“And it’s gonna make a statement when you walk into Cerberus HQ,” Clint added.

You looked over to where Steve stood facing a screen, purposefully ignoring you, then looked back to the other two.

“Okay,” you nodded before disappearing to change.

By the time you got back, Doctor Strange had arrived with Bucky and Spider-Man via portal. 

Bucky grinned when he saw you. “Welcome to the team, kid,” he smiled.

“Yeah, now it’s going to be worse if she’s playing us,” Steve muttered.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Steve, stop being an ass to your assassin girlfriend, would you?”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Steve corrected. “And I’m only being realistic.”

Bucky turned towards you. “Has he been treating you like this ever since he found out?”

“It’s not entirely unjustified,” you replied. 

Bucky looked back to Steve, “You’re not really going to hold her past against her forever, are you?”

“Let’s just see how today goes first,” Steve mumbled, meeting your eyes. “Then I’ll make up my mind.”

“If this is going to work, Steve,” you replied, “Then I’m going to need you to trust me.”

“I’m trusting the plan,” Steve responded. “You do your part, and everyone’s happy.”

After a moments silence, Clint spoke, “Oh, you two are done? Great. When we get in there, I want to be the person who gets to kill anyone involved in my family’s death. Deal?”

“As long as I’m the once that gets to kill past Viper if we find him,” Bucky replied.

“Um…” Peter held up his hand, “Is killing necessary?”

“You don’t have to kill anyone, Peter,” Steve replied. “Incapacitating will be fine.”

“Oh, okay,” Peter lowered his hand. 

“Well, then, are we ready?” Steve asked.

The group around him nodded.

Steve stood taller, “Let’s go show Cerberus what happens when you mess with our family. Doc?”

Doctor Strange nodded and summoned a portal. “Everyone through,” he instructed.

You stepped through the portal and found yourself in front of the hidden Cerberus Bunker. You waited as the Avengers emerged behind you.

“So this is Cerberus, huh?” Bucky asked from beside you, looking at the building in front of him.

“This is Cerberus,” you confirmed. “Or what’s left of it.”

Doctor Strange moved to stand in front of you, before opening the eye of Agamotto and activating the time stone. “Three years, yeah?” Strange asked.

“Yes,” you confirmed. 

Strange nodded and turned his wrist. You watched the scenery around you change as seasons passed by in mere moments. When he finished, you stared back at the same building.

“Welcome to three years ago,” Strange spoke.

“Let’s do this,” Steve muttered. You followed him towards the entrance of the building. He stopped at the doorway, allowing you to enter the passcode on the door. The door unlocked, and you quickly stepped inside.

“This way,” you told them, leading them straight down the hallway to the large door at the opposite end. “And Steve?” you murmured.

“What?”

“I’m really sorry about this.” You slowly pressed down on the door handle. You looked into Steve’s eyes a moment longer, before opening the door. 

You walked in slowly, taking in the forms of the Master, Viper and several other assassins waiting for you. Steve opened his mouth to speak, but before he could you turned and swiftly drove your knee into his stomach. You could register the brief look of shock on his face before he doubled over, and you fumbled inside one of his belt pockets to retrieve your ring. “Try not to be too disappointed,” you muttered into his ear before you turned to show the Master your ring.

“You haven’t been initiated yet,” the Master spoke. “How did you get that?”

“Time travel,” you replied, slipping the ring back into place on your finger. “I’m three years ahead of you.” You turned to face the Avengers, watching as other Cerberus members circled around to stand behind them. “This is everyone left after the execution.”

“What are you doing?” Steve asked, keeping his voice low.

“My mission,” you replied. 

“This whole thing’s a setup,” Bucky realised. “Everything you’ve done… saving me… just to bring us here?”

“I figured if one assassin can’t kill you, maybe all of them can.” You looked over at Doctor Strange. “Thanks for your help, by the way.”

“Master?” one of the assassins asked.

The Master drew his weapons. “You heard her. We kill them and we’ve won. In three years time, we’ll all get to go home.”

Steve sighed, and lifted the shield from his back, keeping his eyes on you. 

You drew a knife with each hand. “Let’s finish this,” you spoke before running towards Steve. You were aware of the movement around you, other Avengers and assassins leaping into battle, but you kept your focus on Steve. You ducked under his shield as it came flying at you to throw a punch towards his face. He blocked the punch with ease and retaliated.

“You know,” Steve started as the two of you fought, “I thought you might actually come through for us today.”

“Sorry, Steve,” you responded. “Looks like I lied again.” 

Steve used his arm to block one of your knife attacks before he caught his returning shield and swung it at you. You ducked and kicked out towards his leg. He winced as your kick landed before throwing a punch into your jaw, which you quickly blocked. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he panted.

“You could always surrender,” you suggested.

“You know that’s not going to happen.”

You shook your head and launched at him again. “Remember what I told you?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific,” he threw another punch towards you. “Which lie are you referring to?”

“Exactly,” you breathed. “How do you know when I’m lying?”

Steve hesitated, “I don’t,” he whispered. In an instant, Steve was on top of you, pinning you to the ground. “What are you doing, Komodo?” he asked, breath heavy against your ear.

“My mission,” you smiled. “You coming?”

Steve stared down at you. You wrapped your legs around him and twisted, forcing him onto his back. You checked the scene behind you. Everyone was focused on their own battles. Bucky and Natasha were fighting off Viper, Clint was face to face with the Master, Spider-Man was overhead, webbing every assassin he could get his hands on to the roof. Doctor Strange caught your eye and nodded before casting a quick spell and sending it hurtling towards an assassin.

“Let’s go,” you breathed, “While they’re still distracted”

You got to your feet and raced to a door, waiting until Steve was just behind you before opening it and slipping through. 

“Really?” Steve asked. “You led us into a trap and still expect me to trust you?”

You stowed your weapons away in your suit and began leading Steve through the bunker. “When I opened the lock on the door, I punched the code in backwards. If that happens, protocol dictates that every member of Cerberus in the building goes to the central location, ready to fight. So right now, everyone is being kept very busy by the rest of the Avengers. We’ve got a clear path to the communications room.”

“And you couldn’t have warned us about this plan of yours?”

“I asked you to trust me,” you responded. “You didn’t. That’s your problem.”

“What if I killed you back there?”

“Then you’d all be screwed,” you told him, before turning to meet his eyes. “But you’re forgetting something - I trust you.”

You opened the door in front of you, walking into the communications room. “This is it,” you told Steve, pointing to a small circular groove in the desk, the exact size of your ring. You tugged the ring off your finger, hovering it over the desk. “I put this in here, the whole of Cerberus is dead.”

“Great. How do we deactivate your microchip?”

“About that,” your eyes met his. “It can’t be deactivated.”

His mouth slowly opened. “But you said—"

“I lied.”

“Are you trying to tell me that stopping Cerberus means killing you?”

“More or less.”

He reached forward, closing his hand around yours to pin the ring inside your palm. “No.”

“Yeah, I figured you’d say that. Unfortunately, all of your friends are currently fighting the entirety of Cerberus and the longer we stand here arguing, the more chance they have of being killed before we do this.”

“There has to be another way.”

“If there was another way, don’t you think Strange and Tony would have found it?” you asked.

“I can’t let you—“

“Steve. This is my choice.”

He stared at you, slowly taking in your words. “You don’t have to sacrifice yourself to be a hero.”

“I never wanted to be a hero,” you replied, “I just want to do the right thing. For once.”

He clenched his eyes shut, squeezing his hand tighter around yours. 

“Steve,” you spoke softly. “When I die, everyone goes back to where they were three years ago. The old me - the one who hasn’t been initiated into Cerberus yet - she doesn’t have a microchip. She’s still going to be here. You’ll remember all of this, but she won’t.”

Steve opened his eyes to look at you.

“I know what I’m like, Steve. She’ll still try and kill you. She’s not going to stop just because Cerberus is gone. But you can stop her. Help her. For me.”

Steve shook his head. “She’s never going to believe me if I tell her about this.”

“She will. Just tell her…” you took a deep breath, before leaning forward and whispering the rest of the sentence in Steve’s ear. You knew that it wasn’t necessary - there was no one else in the room - but you’d never told anyone before. It didn’t feel right to just say it out loud.

Steve leaned back, eyes locking with yours. “But you said…”

“I lied,” you told him with a smile. “To everyone.”

“Why?”

“I guess I just wanted to keep it to myself,” you told him, glancing down at where your tattoo was hidden under the Avengers uniform. “It didn’t feel like something I should share.”

He shook his head, “We’re going to find another way to do this,” he spoke. “That’s the whole of Cerberus out there, right? We can go back, fight them. Take them out the old fashioned way.”

“Steve,” you smiled, “That’s only the assassins in the building. There’s another hundred or so currently on missions. They won’t be killed if we do it your way. They’ll just come back, regroup and start this whole process all over again.”

“Then we wait for the others to return.”

“How long can we wait, Steve? Days, weeks, months, years? How long can we be in the past before the universe starts to tear itself apart?”

“I’m not going to let you—"

“Just stop, Steve.” You stepped forward and put a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him towards you. Steve became quiet as you kissed him, moving his lips against yours as he placed a hand on your waist. The other squeezed even tighter around your fist. You traced your free hand slowly down his side to reach for the knife at your hip. 

“This is the only way,” you whispered.

You gave him one last kiss before shoving your knife into his side.

Steve cried out, stumbling backwards before looking up at you with pained eyes. “What did you—“

“I told you, Steve,” you smiled. “I fight dirty.”

You pressed your ring into the desk.

* * *

Steve dropped to his knees as the world went white around him, and then he was in the Compound, staring at Tony and Bruce discussing something science related. 

The other Avengers appeared around him. They were an absolute mess. Steve couldn’t tell if the blood on their skin belonged to them or an assassin, but he knew there were injuries. Clint was clearly favouring his left leg, Natasha held her hand to her arm. Bucky aimed his gun at the people around him before slowly lowering it as he noticed where he was.

“What the hell?” Tony asked, staring at the people who’d materialised in front of him.

“Wait, what happened?” Peter took the spider-man mask off, looking around him. “Did we win?”

“Yeah,” Steve managed, “We won.”

“Oh, shit,” Tony rushed to Steve’s side while removing his shirt to press against the wound. “We gotta get him to medical.” 

Bucky dropped his gun to the floor and quickly worked with Tony to help Steve stand. 

“What happened?” Tony questioned as they began moving him towards the medical wing.

“His girlfriend stabbed him,” Doctor Strange explained. He made a few movements with his hand, opening a portal and stepping through.

“Girlfriend? He doesn’t have a… Oh shit, did he mean the assassin? That was today?”

“I’m so confused,” Bruce muttered.

Steve winced as they entered a small room and he was laid down on a hospital bed. 

“Wait, where is she?” Nat asked. “Shouldn’t she be here with us?”

“She’s gone,” Steve answered as Doctor Strange returned to the medical room with another woman behind him. 

“Everyone, this is Doctor Palmer,” Strange introduced.

“Out the way,” Palmer instructed, pushing between Tony and Bucky to reach the knife. She frowned as she took in the wound. 

“What is it?” Tony asked.

“It’s just… This is the worse stabbing job I’ve ever seen. It’s almost like whoever did it didn’t want him to get hurt.”

Steve couldn’t help a small smile coming through. “She didn’t.”

“Wait… so she _was_ on our side?” Bucky questioned.

“Yeah,” Steve replied.

“Here,” Doctor Palmer passed Bucky a pair of scissors, “Get rid of the uniform. Where will I find supplies?” 

“Through here,” Natasha instructed, leading Palmer into another room.

“She was on our side, but she stabbed you,” Bucky started cutting away the material around Steve’s uniform.

Steve leaned his head back onto the pillow. It was too soft, he thought. They needed harder pillows in here. Or maybe that was just him. “You know how she said she could activate the Cerberus microchips without setting off hers?” Steve spoke. “She lied. When I found out, I tried to stop her.”

“So she stabbed you?” Tony questioned.

Steve chuckled softly. “She fights dirty.”

Bucky looked up at Steve, “So when you say she’s gone, you mean…”

“She’s dead.”

Bucky winced and squeezed Steve’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I know she meant a lot to you.”

“Who did?” Natasha asked, re-entering the room with Doctor Palmer behind her. Doctor Palmer quickly moved to Steve’s side and applied an injection near the wound.

Steve didn’t reply, instead choosing to gaze around the room. “Is everyone else okay?” he asked. “Where’s Clint?”

“He’s fine,” Nat replied. “He’s on the phone to his kids.”

Steve breathed out a sigh of relief. “Good. That’s good.” He began to relax a little as he felt the painkillers kick in.

“What the hell is going on here?” 

Steve smiled at the voice, turning to see Sam enter the room. 

“I left you alone for ten minutes and you got stabbed?”

“It was actually more like three years,” Steve responded. “It’s really good to see you, Sam.”

“Sure, Steve. Someone want to tell me what’s going on here?”

“Short version,” Tony replied. “There was a cult of crazy assassins forming about now that planned to kill all the superheroes of the world. Two years or so in the future they pretty much succeed, you die, you die, I die,” he pointed to various people in the room, “But the rest don’t die. Then one of the assassins is sent to kill the rest but she falls in love with Steve and then they time travelled back to today and destroyed the cult so none of that actually happened or will happen.”

Doctor Palmer pulled he knife out of Steve’s side and began to work on stitching him up.

“That makes no sense,” Sam replied.

“He’s right,” Steve spoke. “That’s what happened.”

“Yeah, about that,” Natasha turned to Bruce, “If you come up with a Hulk killing potion, do us all a favour and get rid of it, alright?”

Bruce frowned and looked at Tony.

Tony shrugged. “She’s three years ahead of us, I’d trust her.” He looked back at Steve. “How did I die? Was it exciting? Did I get my head chopped off?”

“She snapped your neck,” Natasha responded. 

“Dammit,” Tony muttered, “That’s so boring.”

“You’re all done,” Doctor Palmer announced, before giving Steve instructions on caring for the wound. 

Steve nodded his understanding before Doctor Palmer left with Doctor Strange. “Someone want to tell me exactly who that was?”

“It’s pretty unclear,” Tony replied, “But Strange trusts her and he says she doesn’t ask questions.”

“Okay. Well, I’m fine, so go back to your days, will you? Except you,” he gestured to the group of people who’d fought Cerberus. “You guys get some rest.”

Bucky hesitated, “Are you sure you’re alright? We can stay here. I’ll stay—"

“What, like he’s never been hurt before?” Sam asked. “I’ve seen him go through much more than this.”

Bucky looked up at Natasha. “He lost her.”

“I didn’t lose her,” Steve argued, “She sacrificed herself so that everyone could come back.”

Natasha’s eyes widened. “Steve, I—"

“Just go, Nat,” Steve instructed. “All of you. Please.”

Nat nodded. “You let us know if you need us, alright?”

“Yeah.”

Natasha turned to leave, and the other Avengers began to follow. 

“Tony,” Steve called.

Tony turned around to look back at Steve.

“Can we talk?”

“Sure, Cap,” Tony took a seat on the bed next to Steve’s. “What do you need?”

“I was thinking… You were right, when you said someone needs to keep us in check. Kind of like the accords but… not the accords.”

“I know I was right, Cap. The accords were rather problematic, though.”

“Yeah. I was thinking about something different. Something that wasn’t imposed by the government, but by us.”

“What do you have in mind?”

Steve took a slow breath before answering, “A person.”


	16. Chapter 16

You checked the gun over before strapping it to your thigh and moving on the next weapon. It was time.

Actually, it was past time. The whole of Cerberus had been killed three months ago. You tried not to think about it too much. You had returned to headquarters to find everyone dead. You had no idea how it happened, and you’d accepted that you probably never would. 

Regardless of what happened to the people you had intended to work with, you still had a mission. If Cerberus were going to go and die on you, that was fine. You’d kill the damn superheroes yourself. 

You slipped a knife into the hidden pocket in your sleeve before picking up another gun.

“You know,” a low voice spoke, “You really don’t want to do this.”

You swivelled on your feet, aiming your gun towards the voice. 

“Easy girl,” the man stepped forward, holding his hands above his head in surrender. “I have no intention of hurting you.”

Your eyes widened as he came into view. Captain America was in your living room. 

“I can’t say the same,” you told him, finger touching the trigger.

He smiled. “I know.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you. I thought we should talk.”

You stayed silent.

“I’d really prefer it if you would consider lowering your weapon.”

“You’re lucky I haven’t shot you already, Rogers.”

“No, that’s not luck. You wouldn’t have shot me anyway,” he stepped forward, “The gun is just a distraction.” He took the gun from you, unloaded it, and tossed the two pieces onto the couch. “If you were going to kill me, you’d use the knife in your sleeve,” he swiftly removed the knife from it’s hidden location and threw it onto the couch with your gun. “Or in your back pocket,” he reached around to retrieve the knife, which quickly joined the others. “Or the dagger in your boot. I think you get the point.” 

He continued to disarm you, removing all of your weapons and creating a pile of them on your couch. You knew you should have stopped him, but you were far too stunned by the fact that he knew the location of every single weapon you owned.

“There,” he stepped back. “Now we’re on a level playing field. Of course, you could still kill me with your bare hands, but I think you’re far too curious right now to consider that.”

“How…” you began.

“I know you,” he replied simply.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. Probably better than you know yourself.”

“I don’t have time for this,” you sighed, reaching for one of your weapons.

Rogers reached out and gripped your wrist in his, stopping you in your tracks. “You were raised as part of HYDRA,” he began. “To be their assassin. I imagine you were good at it too, until you fell pregnant and left. Two days after the birth of your daughter, she was caught in an accident. I screwed up, and you lost your baby, so you decided to kill every superhero in the world. You joined Cerberus, then we stopped Cerberus, and now you’ve decided to do this whole thing yourself. And I’m here to tell you that you really don’t want to do this.”

You hesitated. There was no way he should have known any of that information. “You know things about me,” you spoke slowly. “That doesn’t mean you know me. Otherwise you would know that actually, I really do want you dead.”

“Do you know what really happened to Cerberus?”

“I don’t,” you admitted.

“It was you. You teamed up with the Avengers, you led us into that building, and you gave your life to stop them.”

“I wasn’t even there,” you protested. “You’re insane.”

He sighed and let go of your wrist. “I hate time travel,” he told you. “It’s a huge mess. My past and your future are two different things. I have memories of you which you’ll never live through. It’s complicated, to say the least. But I can tell you what happened. In my timeline, Cerberus failed. There were six of us left alive after your little ‘execution’. So they sent you to kill me. And in the end, you switched sides, we travelled back in time to before you made your first kill for Cerberus and we stopped them. You stopped them.”

“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I know it’s a lot to get your head around. Doctor Strange has something called the Eye of Agamotto, which—“

“Not the time travel, you dumbass. You think I haven’t studied the infinity stones? No, I was referring to me switching sides. Why on earth would I do that?”

“Because you fell in love,” he answered. “We fell in love.”

“Bullshit,” you responded, once again reaching for a weapon. 

He didn’t stop you this time, just watched calmly as you picked up a knife and pressed the blade to his throat. 

“You told me her name,” he murmured.

You froze. “What did you say?”

“Her name. At first you said you didn’t get to name her, and technically that’s true. You hadn’t decided on a name when she was born, and you didn’t get the chance to fill out the paperwork before she died. But you did choose a name.”

You stared at him. There was no way he could possibly know that. 

He gently moved your arm out the way, removing the knife from his neck before he leant forward and whispered a name into your ear. You dropped the knife to the ground, looking up at him as he stepped back. 

“I would never tell someone her name,” you whispered. “I don’t care how much I loved you.”

“Unless you needed a way to make sure you’d believe what I’m telling you. You asked me to come and find you. Wanted me to stop you from making this mistake again,” he smiled to himself. “You told me her name so that you’d know I was telling the truth.

There was no way for you to argue that - he was right. You hadn’t believed him before, but now? Now it seemed you didn’t have a choice.

You slowly sat down on the couch next to the pile of weapons. “That’s a nice story,” you told him, “But it doesn’t matter.” You met his eyes. “That person that you were in love with... It wasn’t me. A version of me, maybe, but...”

He smiled sadly and crossed his arms over his chest. “You think I don’t know that? I’m standing here right now, looking into the eyes of a woman I love, and you don’t even know who I am. No, the person I loved is the one that died so that we’d be free of Cerberus. There’s nothing either of us can do to change that now.”

You raised your eyebrows, looking towards the ground. “If you loved me so much, why didn’t you stop me?”

“I tried,” he responded. “You stabbed me.”

You couldn’t help a small laugh. Maybe the person Captain America was describing wasn’t you, but that sure as hell sounded like you.

He moved to sit next to you on the couch. “Did you ever read the Sokovia Accords?”

“No,” you admitted. “I just thought you were an ass for refusing to sign them.”

He chuckled. “A lot of people did. The accords put the Avengers in the hands of the government. They would control us. Tell us where we could go, what battles we could fight and which ones we couldn’t. Which might have been okay, but the last time I trusted a government organisation it turned out that half of the members were actually HYDRA. If HYDRA can infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D., can you imagine how easy it would be for them to infiltrate the government? And if people like that were able to control the Avengers... I couldn’t let that happen.”

“And yet, people still die when you fight.”

“I’ma aware, believe me. People think I refused to sign the accords because I didn’t think we needed them. That’s not true. I didn’t sign the accords because signing them would have put me and my team in the control of people I couldn’t trust. But I agree with the idea. We need something... someone... to make sure we don’t go too far.” He looked at you, “I think that someone should be you.”

You stared. “What?”

“Something like the accords, but not exactly, put into place by the Avengers. You would be the person who held us accountable. The person who stops us from making dumb decisions in the heat of battle. You could make sure we do everything we can to prevent someone else losing their child the way you did. Without murdering the world’s heroes.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Why not?”

“Do you really think that I’ll just drop everything because you offered me a job?”

“Yes, I do.”

“You’re insane.”

“I’m not naive enough to think that me showing up here and speaking your daughter’s name would be enough to stop you from killing us all. You would need more reason than that. But this gives you another option. This right here is your second chance. Last time you killed a lot of people and regretted it so much that you gave your life to undo it. This time you can do it differently. Do it right. I think the other you knew that when she made the decision she did.”

“Who’s to say I don’t take this offer, come to work with you and stab you all in the back?”

He shrugged, “You worked with us before and no one died.”

You raised your eyebrows at him. “The whole of Cerberus died.”

Rogers frowned, considering your words. “That’s true, I suppose. But we’re not just talking about a mission here. Everything you’ve done since you left HYDRA has been for your daughter. The decision you’re making right now isn’t about you or me, it’s about her. Do you want her legacy to be a trail of dead superheroes, or every single person we save because you were there to keep us in line?”

Something in your chest clenched at his words. You looked down at the tattoo on your wrist, tracing your fingers over the raven. It had only been there for a few months now, but it felt like a lifetime. A lifetime since you made the decision to kill all the superheroes in the world, and now there was one sitting next to you, offering you a different path. 

“You make a very convincing case, Captain Rogers,” you muttered.

He smiled. “That’s just the way I see it. Obviously I have a personal interest in you not murdering me, so you could consider me biased.”

You smiled despite yourself, “I’m starting to understand why I liked you.”

“I just want you to know that you have choices,” he spoke quietly. “I know you want her life, however short it was, to mean something, but there are ways to make that happen without so much death and destruction,” he hesitated. “And I did ask Doctor Strange. I can’t bring her back for you. Apparently we can’t travel back in time to undo our past mistakes.”

You nodded slowly, “I don’t think I would have been a very good mother anyway.”

“Well, I’m going to have to disagree with you. You ran away from your own family to keep her safe. And I know what happens when you piss off HYDRA, so I have an awful lot of respect for that.”

You sighed. “Doesn’t matter now anyway.” You glanced at the pile of weapons next to you, and then the man on your other side. “If I do this, if I decide to accept your offer… What does that mean for us? Am I expected to love you again?”

“No, of course not,” he smiled. “I expect you to figure out how you feel for yourself. But I would like to be your friend, if you’ll let me.”

You bit your lip, a small smile coming through. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a friend before.”

“Well, maybe it’s time to try something new,” he smiled, offering a hand. 

“Okay,” you whispered. You carefully placed your hand in his, noticing that he touched you with a gentleness you weren’t prepared for. No one had ever been gentle with you before.

“Then let’s go save lives.”

* * *

_Three months later_

You smiled as you entered the Avengers Compound, a large pile of folders in your arms. You shifted them to one side so that you could free your other arm to call for the elevator. 

Steve had told you that you could move into the Compound with the rest of the Avengers, but you’d declined. The Avengers who knew you in the alternate timeline were quite happy to have you here. The ones you’d apparently murdered were, unsurprisingly, not so keen on your presence. (With the exception of Tony, but apparently he’d let you kill him, so you weren’t sure if that counted or not.) You didn’t want to make anyone any more uncomfortable than they already were, so you decided to live outside the Compound. At least for now.

The elevator arrived and you stepped inside, quickly jabbing the button for your floor before leaning against the side of the elevator.

The last three months working for the Avengers had been good. Not perfect, but... good. You had been pouring over every mission report the Avengers had ever written, slowly creating new protocols which would protect innocent lives while they worked. If a mission went badly, you wouldn’t sleep until you had worked out why. Work had quickly become your new obsession. The only time you stopped was when Bucky or Natasha dragged you into the gym to help them train.

The elevator arrived, and you collected your thoughts before stepping onto the administration floor of the Compound. You placed your files on your desk before looking up at the glass walls of the meeting room. The original six Avengers were in a meeting, and you couldn’t help a small smile when you noticed Steve frowning from his seat, clearly focused on whatever was being discussed.

You _liked_ Steve. Even thought you’d loved him in another time, the realisation had come as a surprise. You’d always thought Steve Rogers was a conceited ass, but the more time you spent with him, the more you learned that he was also kind, thoughtful, sarcastic, witty, stubborn, strong...

More importantly, every time you’d come up with a suggestion for improving the Avengers’ protocols, he was willing to test it out. If it worked in training, he would try it on a mission. It would have been easy for him to just keep you in this office so that you wouldn’t murder anyone, but he didn’t. He made sure that what you did actually made a difference. It was more than you ever expected.

“You should ask him out,” a voice spoke from the corner of the room.

You blinked in surprise, and turned to where Bucky sat, watching you, “Sorry?”

He smiled. “Steve. You should stop staring at him and just ask him out. He won’t ask you. He doesn’t want to overstep.”

“I wasn’t staring,” you muttered.

Bucky chuckled, “Yeah, you were,” Bucky stood. “Just ask him if he wants to get a drink with you or something.”

“Why would I do that?” You questioned.

“Because you like him and want to get to know him better. That’s the first step. He liked you before, right? So why wouldn’t he like you now?”

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat. “That wasn’t me, Bucky.”

“I know. He does too. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it a chance.”

You frowned, ending the conversation as the Avengers began to leave the meeting room. Steve leaned out and called out to you, waving you inside.

You glanced at Bucky.

“Ask him,” he whispered before smiling and turning away. 

You slowly moved to the meeting room and Steve held up a file. “Thought you’d like to see this,” he told you, placing a piece of paper in front of you.

“What is it?” You asked.

“Statistics. Casualties have gone down 28% since you started working with us.”

Your eyes widened. “Really?”

“Really,” Steve smiled. “It’s working.”

“That’s not a lot though, is it?”

“It’s a start,” Steve sat on the desk, facing you. “I think that number will keep going down if you keep doing what you’re doing,” he looked at you with a smile, “Does this mean you might not murder us all?”

You smiled. “I’m still undecided.”

Steve laughed, “For what it’s worth, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy.”

You bit your lip, glancing down at the tattoo on your wrist. Maybe happy wasn’t the right word, but you were certainly better. 

Steve reached out to take your hand. “I think she’d be proud of you.”

“I hope so,” you breathed softly. “Is that all?”

“That’s all,” Steve nodded.

You turned towards the door, then hesitated when you saw Bucky staring you down, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. You turned back. “Steve?” 

He lifted his head to look at you.

“Did... did you want to get a drink with me sometime?”

Steve hesitated, glanced at Bucky outside the room and then turned back to you. “That depends. Do you have any intentions to poison the drink?”

“Never.”

Steve smiled. “Well, in that case, it’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done! I’m so grateful to everyone who has stuck with this story to the end, and particularly those of you who have left kudos or commented. Hearing from you really does make my day every time, so thank you all!!


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